Perfect
by Real.Smile
Summary: No one is perfect, and yet we all constantly fight for perfection. The fight's not pretty, it's brutal and painful. Brianna Chase wants perfection. She wants to be what no one is. RL/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Okay, so I have another story. I was hit with the sudden urge to post this story. I have had a few chapters sitting in my documents for a long time, and now I'm gonna post it. So I hope you enjoy. _  
_

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in Harry Potter. I only own Brianna.

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_Stupid._

_Fat._

_Ugly._

The words seemed to follow here wherever she went.

_Stupid._

_Fat._

_Ugly._

No matter what she did to change the world's perception of her; the words followed.

_Stupid._

_Fat._

_Ugly._

Even if the words weren't spoken, she could see them in the way that people looked at her. In the glares that people sent her way.

_Stupid._

_Fat._

_Ugly._

For the longest, she was able to ignore the whispers and looks. She was confident in her looks and intelligence. Sure she wasn't the smartest person in the school, but she wasn't the stupidest person either. She wasn't fat, she was curvy, at least that's what her best friend always told her. She wasn't ugly, she just wasn't the most beautiful person. She wasn't like her sister. She didn't have flowing light brown hair and hazel eyes. She'd gotten her father's looks, dark hair and dark eyes. She didn't have the personality of a goddess. It took time for her to get to know people and trust. She wasn't the perfect person that Kendall was.

_Stupid._

_Fat._

_Ugly._

However, now they were getting to her. A person can only take so much. A person can only handle so much before they crack and give in. Brianna was strong, but she wasn't Kendall. A person can only take so much before they break.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Oh another chapter. I just wanted to get this one up, so that you guys had something to read after the introduction.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Harry Potter. Just Brianna.

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The first day of classes. The first day of her last year of school. The last first day that she would ever have at Hogwarts and she was sitting on her bed. Her wet hair was dripping on to the sheets beneath her, she'd dry it later, as she looked at the uniform before her. A black pleated skirt, a white button down shirt, and a black jumper. Her new black shoes were sitting on her trunk and the tights she was required to wear were laying beside them. All she had to do was get dressed and go. Dry her hair, step into the skirt, slide one arm at a time into the sleeves of her shirt, button it, pull on the jumper, then her tights, and her shoes. That's all she had to do, and yet this seemed to be the hardest thing that she would ever have to do.

"Bri," a voice called out to her. She turned her dark eyes from the uniform before her and to the voice calling to her. It was Lily Evans. Her best friend since she came to Hogwarts in her first year. Lily had made it almost impossible to be her friend. She was so kind and welcoming. So sweet and caring. Lily was friendly to her without reason, something that she didn't know was possible. "You going to get dressed anytime soon? Class starts in an hour and you still have to get breakfast." The red-head crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the wall beside the door. "Are you okay?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah, yeah," the girl in question answered. "Yeah, just give me a moment and I'll be right down."

"Alright," Lily said as she turned to exit the room. "You forgot your tie," she commented as she closed the door behind her.

Brianna looked up at her uniform and realized she was right. Gripping the towel closer to her body, she pulled her wand from the bedside table and pointed it at her wet dark brown hair. Warmth spread through her hair and it was dry. She dropped the towel as she stood, dressed in her black bra and underwear she approached the wardrobe. She dressed in her uniform and sighed as she opened her trunk to pull out a clean scarlet and gold tie. The girl stepped towards the mirror in order to tie the tie, she'd never been particularly good at tying them. In the mirror, she saw herself. Dark brown hair and eyes. A "full figure" as Lily called it. "I'd love to have your body. You're so curvy and pretty." Lily Evans and Mary McDonald, another friend, said that, or something similar to it, often. She never thought anything of it, though. In the mirror, she didn't see anything extraordinary. She just saw herself, Brianna Chase, in her school uniform. Sighing, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail and left the room without so much as another glance in the mirror.

"Bri, we thought you'd died up there," a male voice exclaimed.

"Good morning to you too, James," Brianna said as she descended the staircase from the girls dormitory to the common room. "Sorry, to keep you waiting."

James rolled his eyes and hopped of the sofa. "Alright, well since Ms. Chase has decided to join us we can go."

"We weren't waiting on you, Brianna," another male voice said. "Well, I wasn't anyway."

"Black," she groaned as he ruffled her dark hair while he walked by her. "You're an obnoxious brat."

"And you love me for it," he shouted over his shoulder as she exited the common room.

James Potter and Sirius Black were inseparable. They'd been best mates for as long as anyone could remember. James Potter was easily recognized by his jet black unruly hair and black circular glasses. Sirius Black was known for his brown curly hair and build. Kind of ironic, because James was the athletic one. He was the Quidditch star, leading Gryffindor to four consecutive House Cups. Sirius was the ladies man. He got whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. James was the opposite. He'd been in love with Lily Evans since he first laid eyes on her on the Hogwarts Express. Lily on the other hand couldn't stand him. Granted, James was an arrogant git. However, Lily was starting to fall for the Potter Charm. Any idiot could see that, except Lily.

Lily rolled her green eyes as she herded her friend from the room and out the portrait hole. She and Lily stayed a few steps behind the boys as they walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast. Lily was talking about something or other. From what Brianna could tell she was talking about the Potions class that they'd been offered to co-teach. Well, Lily had been offered to co-teach the class, and Lily had asked to have Bri help her. Brianna was slightly below superb in Potions. If Lily was superb then she was four steps below her.

However, Brianna wasn't really listening to her friend. She was thinking, preparing herself. Yesterday, on the train and at dinner, she felt like people were watching her. Their gazes were burning holes in her. But every time she turned to look, no one was watching her. Then the whispering. _Fat. _She hadn't gained any weight since school ended last year. If anything, she lost some weight. _Ugly. _She wasn't stunning. In fact walking next to Lily, she was sure that she looked like nothing. Of course, she was used to that. She stood next to Kendall all the time. She was used to looking second best.

Lost in thought, she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings and ran right into someone. Her brown eyes snapped upward and she took a step back. "I am so sorry."

A hand reached out to steady her. "No worries, Bri."

Remus Lupin. He looked tired, as always. There were scars of his face and hands that weren't there last year. He turned his hazel colored eyes down to her, with a warm smile on his lips. He released his hold from her shoulder and ran his fingers through his light brown hair. He was a friends of James and Sirius' and a housemate of hers. He reminded her so much of Lily. He was very intelligent. However, he wasn't show-offy with it. One would never know exactly how bright he was if they'd never seen his marks. All Os on his OWLS. Lily had gotten one E and she was devastated. He was kind. He was known for putting others first. The one thing that differenced him from Lily was the fact that Remus had this mysterious air about him. Something that he was hiding from everyone. At one point, she'd been determined to figure it out. But she'd given up, because it was too well kept.

"Bri," he said to her.

"Huh? Sorry, I was thinking," she managed as she took a step back and then rocked back on her heels. "Headed somewhere?" she questioned.

"To see where you guys were," Remus said, gesturing to James, Sirius, and Lily, who were standing at the entrance to the Great Hall. "Shouldn't keep them waiting."

Bri nodded and headed towards the Great Hall, before they all took a seat at the table. James and Sirius dove into full plates of bacon and eggs. Lily and Remus ate theirs with much more grace. Brianna on the other hand, looked at the food in front of her. Bacon, eggs, English muffins, all in front of her. All ready to be eaten. But the stares were back. _Fat. _

She pushed the thoughts from her head and exhaled slowly. She reached for a slice of toast and placed a few spoonfuls of eggs on her plate. Absentmindedly, she pulled the crust of the toast.

"Bri, you okay?" Lily questioned from across the table.

"I've seen you eat more than that in your sleep," Sirius teased. Brianna picked up a tart and launched it at his head. Target hit. The red filling exploded on his face. "Damn it, Bri."

"You should try out for chaser," James chimed in. "We need another one."

"I'll think about it," Brianna answered as she continued to pulled the crust of the bread.

"Next week during free period," he told her.

"I'll think about it," she repeated.

"So are you excited about the class?" Remus questioned.

"I'm sorry?"

"The Astronomy class," he clarified.

Astronomy was the only class that she'd really been good at in school. She understood the stars and the planet. They made sense to her. So when the Professor announced that she was adding another class, just for students that received Os on their NEWTS. That included her, Remus, and a handful of other students. Lily would have been in that handful, if she'd taken all the prerequisite classes.

"Oh, yeah. First class is tonight, right?" she asked, trying to play it off as nonchalant. Of course she knew that the first class was tonight. She'd been looking forward to it since she'd found out that she was accepted into the class.

"Right."

"Too bad I have to sit through two Potions classes," Brianna teased as she shot a look across the table at Lily.

"Yep and one of them starts right now," Lily told her. "Come on."

The brunette finished off her pumpkin juice and grabbed a blueberry tart from the floating tray. She hadn't touched her eggs and ate only half of the piece of toast. The tart would do, just until free period, then she'd go to the kitchens and eat something to hold her until lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S**** NOTE: **Here's another chapter. Enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER: **Still down't own Harry Potter.

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Lunch came quicker than she thought it would. She hadn't been able to get anything from the Kitchens before lunch like she thought that she would, so when she sat down with Lily across the table from her, she was starving. Immediately, she grabbed a turkey sandwich and bit into it. It was the best damn turkey sandwich in the world. The amount of mayo was just right, the tomato was juicy, and the lettuce was crispy. It was perfect.

"So you have fun with the first years today?" Lily questioned. Brianna shot her a look as she chewed the sandwich. "I take that as a no. Come on Bri, they weren't that bad. There were a few of them that actually got it."

"Lily, they were just stirring Lacewing Flies and water," Bri exclaimed after she swallowed her bite of sandwich. "Three of them blew up their cauldrons. I didn't know that was possible. Lacewing Flies and water!"

"They're first years," Lily shouted back a smile on her lips. "They were experimenting."

"Water is not usually a flammable substance, and I've sure as hell never seen it spontaneously combust."

Lily was about to retort, probably saying something about how they were just playing around and trying to have fun. Blowing up cauldrons wasn't on the top of her list of fun things. However, a bouquet of lilies appeared before her and landed neatly on her lap. "Potter," Lily growled. And sure enough, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin came waltzing through the door a moment later. "Potter, what is this?" Lily questioned with one of her red eyebrows arched.

"That is a bouquet of lilies," he said as he sat next to her. He plucked one from the bouquet and then tucked it behind her ear. "Ta-da!"

"Gee, thanks, Potter," Lily said, he voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You are welcome," he replied pretending to not notice the sarcasm.

Brianna sat enjoying the exchange while she munched on her second sandwich. Lily and James. They were something else. They were made for one another. But Lily couldn't see that. James was always around and doing these things for her and to bother her. Maybe if he'd just take like, twenty steps back and give her space to breath and really see him, then she could see that.

"Hey, Bri," an all to familiar voice called to her.

"Kendall," the Gryffindor girl replied to her Hufflepuff twin without looking at her. "What can I help you with?"

She and her sister were never particularly close. They'd shared a womb for nine months and a room for three years, but they were never close. Kendall was always more of a mum's girl. Kendall was a pageant girl. She spent her weekends at pageants both in the wizarding world and in the Muggle world - their mother's half and half. At one point, it was Bri and Kendall, but Kendall was always the prettier one, the one that stood out. So Bri just stopped going, opting to stay home with her father and do nothing all day. Kendall got all the looks. Her hair was a light brown color and her eyes were hazel. She had a killer smile, one that had been perfected by years of pageant training. She was thin, like their mother. She'd always been thin, just like Bri had always not been thin.

"Mum said to write her when you get the chance," the thin girl before her said.

"Yeah," Bri replied as she poked at piece of chicken with the prongs of her fork.

"And to at least act like you like writing her," Kendall continued.

"Yeah," Brianna answered, still not looking away from her piece of chicken.

"Don't play with your food, it's not cute," the Hufflepuff said. "Hi, Sirius." An attempt to flirt with the great Sirius Black.

"Hey, beautiful." Attempt acknowledged and accepted.

Possibly playing hard to get, Kendall flashed him a dazzling smile and then left. Bri exhaled loudly. A weight had been removed from her shoulders. The air was easier to breathe without the suffocating scent of Kendall's perfume. The Gryffindor twin continued to poke the chicken with her fork for a moment before she pushed the entire plate away from her.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked her carefully.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Sirius questioned through a mouthful of something or other. What did people see in him?

"Yes and no," the brunette answered.

"You sure?" Remus pressed.

"Thanks," Sirius said as he stabbed the chicken with his fork and brought it to his mouth.

"Yes and you're welcome."

Remus let it drop. Knowing Brianna, she was just going to stay that she was fine until he left her alone or until she got irritated and yelled at him. He had never been yelled at by her, not in his seven years of knowing her, and he didn't really want to experience it. He'd witnessed her wrath from when she'd chew James and Sirius out. Not something that he wanted to be a victim of.

"Please tell me you have Ancient Ruins next," Lily said to Brianna, who was now looking down at her empty plate.

"Huh? Uh, no sorry, Lil. I have Xylomancy next."

"You're taking that class?" Lily asked clearly amused. "You hate Divination."

"That's Kendall," Bri answered. "I find it interesting."

"I have that class too," Remus chimed in.

"Surprising," Lily teased. "I know you hate Divination."

"Yeah, well, it was one of the few classes that I could take with my schedule and all."

"Then you have Care of Magical Creatures, right?" Lily questioned again.

"I do, my Lily flower," James said from beside her.

The expression on Lily's face was priceless. It was as if someone had stabbed her and pushed her off a very high cliff. "Please tell me one of you have Care of Magical Creatures." It was rare to hear Lily begging, but she was doing it now.

"Arithmancy," Brianna and Remus answered together.

"You got into that class, Bri?" Lily asked clearly impressed.

"Barely. Professor Vector sent me an owl saying that she would let me take the class, but that she held all rights to make me drop the class..." Her cheeks were a little red. She'd passed the class last year, but just barley and with a lot of help from the Professor and one of the older kids. She was glad to have passed the class with an Acceptable. So when the letter came to her house saying that she was accepted into the class this year, she was a little nervous.

"Well, fantastic," the red head said with a smile on her lips. "You'll be brilliant."

"Thanks," she replied her face flushing a deeper red.

"Hey, Brianna, I forgot to ask you," Kendall was back. "Do you need a tutor for that Arithmancy class you're taking? I know that you just barely got it."

"What's it to you, Kendall?" The blush started to creep up her cheeks.

"Well, Eric, this guy in my house is really smart and taking that class, he said that he would love to help the less intelligent," Kendall replied with a smirk.

Brianna's entire face was red at this point. _Stupid. _That's what Eric had called her. Hell, that's probably what Kendall had called her when she was talking to him. _Stupid._ The brunette pushed away from the table and grabbed her bag as she stood. "Thanks for the thought, Kendall, but I'll pass," Brianna told her as she walked away.

Lily grabbed her bag and sighed. "Sod off, Kendall," Lily said as she followed her friend out of the Great Hall. When she exited the Great Hall, Brianna was nowhere to be found. As much as Lily wanted to search the castle for her, she couldn't. Class was about to start.

"Hey, find her?" Remus' voice asked. Lily shook her head. "Well, I'll let you know if she'd okay. We have the next two periods together."

"Would you, Remus?" Lily questioned. "That would be great."

"Yeah, no problem."


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Thanks for your words of encouragement. You guys are great. So here's another chapter, and I hope you enjoy and keep reviewing.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Locating her was no problem. Instead of walking around the castle red-faced and frustrated, she just went to her classroom. She was the first person in the classroom, and easily spotted with her dark brown hair, despite the fact that she was sitting in a dark corner. The Professor was nowhere to be found, of course Trelawney was very absent-minded. This wouldn't be the first time she was late to a class or forgot there was one.

"You don't plan on sitting there, do you?" Remus asked as he approached her. The brunette jumped as she turned to face him. "Are you alright, Brianna?"

"Yeah, fine," she replied.

"Well, you never answered my question. You don't plan on sitting back here, do you?"

Brianna shrugged and looked about the room. The classroom was circular. One the far side of the room, the one opposite the door, the wall was covered in windows. On the side with the door, the desk were in a three level arch split in half by the door. On one side of the arch, there were six two person desks. Eighteen desks, thirty-six people. The same for the other side. In total, there were thirty-six desks and the classroom could hold at most seventy-two people. Clearly the set up for third year Divination. Brianna was sure that nowhere near seventy-two people were going to take this course. So Trelawney would have them sit front and center.

"I suppose not," she replied as she pulled her bag onto her lap.

"I'll help you, if you'd like," Remus commented as he picked a desk in the second row of the arch and just left of center. "With the Arithmancy."

"Thanks," she replied as she moved to the desk that Remus choose. "Seat taken?" she questioned as she nudged the cushion with her shoe.

"Please," he said waving his hand toward the cushion. "I see that things haven't gotten better between you and you sister," Remus tried carefully.

Brianna shrugged and played with the tassel at the corner of the cushion she was sitting on. "She placed second in the Ms. Teen London pageant and in the Wizarding pageant. She hasn't been in the best mood since then. She'd been like that all summer. Well, from what dad said, I spent most of the summer with my grandparents." She shrugged. "But no and I don't think that it's going to get any better, and I'm okay with that."

Remus shrugged and didn't press the matter any further for two reasons. One, because the classroom was starting to fill. Two, because he knew that she was done talking about it. In some ways, Brianna was as secretive as him. Granted, he was positive that she wasn't hiding the fact that she was a werewolf, but she did have her secrets. She had a lot of them.

Trelawney walked into the classroom, twenty minutes late, with an absent smile on her face. "Hello, Seventh years. Welcome to Xylomancy. If you're in the wrong class, this would be your time to leave." Was that Trelawney trying to be funny? It wasn't working. "Well, can anyone tell me what Xylomancy is?" Remus' hand was the first and only one to go up. "Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"The art and practice of divining the past, present, and future, by interpreting omens from twigs, pieces of wood, or fallen tree branches," Remus recited perfectly.

"Excellent, Mr. Lupin, five points to Gryffindor. "Now, what are characteristic taken into consideration with Xylomancy?" Again, Remus was the only one with the answer. "No, no, Mr. Lupin, someone new." The frizzy haired woman looked about the classroom through her thick lenses. "Ms. Chase?"

"I bed you pardon, Professor?"

"Usual characteristics taken into consideration?" Trelawney repeated.

A piece of parchment slid across the table, inconspicuously. Remus nodded subtly to the paper. "Their shape, color, thickness, size, as well as location, formations, and patterns?" The upward inflection of her voice was subtle, but there.

"Excellent, Ms. Chase, another five point to Gryffindor." The Professor turned away from the class and started towards her desk. Brianna let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding before turned to Remus, "Thank you," she muttered under her breath as she turned to the first chapter of the textbook.

"What are friends for, Bri?" he questioned rhetorical in return.

_Stupid. _The word struck her thoughts without warning. He thought she was stupid too, just like the rest of them. He gave her the answer because she was stupid, not because he was her friend. Of course, Brianna knew that that thought was ridiculous. Remus didn't think she was stupid. Well, he'd offered her help in Arithmancy. Also because she was stupid. No, because he wanted to help her. Brianna felt her face burn with frustration from the internal conflict. Rationally, she knew that Remus didn't think that she was stupid. However, when the word _stupid _popped into her head, the thoughts became irrational. He didn't think she was stupid, he was just trying to help. She didn't know the answer, why was she so upset? He'd kept her from looking stupid, in front of the rest of the class.

"Divination and Xylomancy are similar in their readings. Things that are closer to the questioner are recent events, things father away are more distant events. Things to the right indicate the future and things to the left indicate the past. So to get started, we will do some tea leaf readings today, just to get you back in the mind set." She waved her wand and two cups of tea appeared on each table. "Once you have recorded your readings you are dismissed."

Brianne took her tea in her hands and sighed as she looked into it. The tea that they had in this class wasn't always the best. No sugar or honey, just the tea. However, she placed the cup to her lips and sipped on it. Not as bad as it had been in past years, but it could have been better.

The cup of tea was small and she was finished within a few moments. Bri pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and placed it on the table. She scribbled her name at the top of the paper and sighed. She'd never liked tea leave reading. It only told her bad things. The brunette turned her cup's handle towards her and looked into the cup.

A clump of leaves right at the handle and one on the opposite side of the cup. The one towards the handle meant trouble caused by one's self, the other meant trouble caused by others. She knew both of those, they appeared every now and then, but never together. Towards the right of the cup were two wavy lines, Brianna flipped through her textbook to find the meaning. Uncertainty or disappointment. Beside that a small and slightly misshapen heart. Chakra, pleasure, love, trust, compassion. A nurse's symbol, an illness.

Brianna cast her glance up to Remus, who was staring intently at his cup. "Are you ready?" she questioned.

"Give me another moment, Bri," Remus said in his usual calm tone.

Remus had never had a cup this difficult to read. Usually, if it was near a full moon he'd have a needle which meant pain. Other times it would be subtle things about having good friends and being intelligent. However, today was different. Towards the right side and close to the center was a knight in armor, meaning success in love. Behind that, away from the cup, was a circle with the letter 'B' in it. The circle meant a bond of love, protection, acceptance, and strength, then letter meant a closeness to a person with at initial. Not the usual things he saw but he wrote them down anyway. Maybe it was a fluke.

"I'll take it," Brianna said, as held her hand out to Remus for his paper.

Remus flicked his light eyes up to her dark ones and nodded as he handed her his assignment. "Thank you," he said. He watched her walk toward the Professor's desk. They'd only been at school for a day, he'd only been with her for one day, and he knew there was something wrong. Her dark eyes had lost their glow. When she smiled, they didn't dance they way they used to. Her walk didn't have the usual hop. Her voice wasn't bright anymore. Yes, Remus had taken notice to the curves that Brianna had gained over the past seven year of him knowing her. He taken notice to a lot of changes that she'd gone through. He was only a man. Remus found her to be stunning, completely stunning. The way she laughed and the way she bit the tip of her feather quill when she was thinking. The way he found himself entranced watching the sway of her hips, and how he wanted to protect her from everything. But he'd never put her in danger like that. Not with him.

"Hey, Earth to Remus," Brianna said as she waved a hand before his face. "Let's go."

Remus nodded and grabbed his bag and left the classroom with the brunette. She stopped and looked over the railing for the staircase leaving the Divination classroom and sighed deeply. She'd never liked the stupid stairs. "You know, if you walk down them you'll get there faster than trying to teleport," Remus joked as he watched her ponytail fall over her shoulder as she looked at the floor below them. The brunette rolled her eyes and started down the stairs. "Did you pass your Apparition test?" he questioned striking up conversation.

"Yeah," she replied. "Too bad I can't sure it now. Stupid staircase. Did you?" Of course, she knew the answer.

"I did," he responded. "I'm sorry that you don't like the staircase. Talk to Dumbledore, maybe he'll change the rules just for you."

"He won't," she answered with confidence.

"And how do you know that, Brianna?"

"I asked him last year," the brunette Gryffindor girl laughed. "He said no."

"Of course, you did," he teased. "Well it's for your protection, as you well know."

"Yeah, I know, to keep us safe from You-Know-Who and his followers. I know. But I really just want to apparate down the stairs, that's all I want."

"Of course, it is," he teased.

They reached the last stair and Brianna sighed dramatically. She glanced at the halls, and saw that they were still very empty. "What time is it?" she questioned.

"Uh, almost two. We were only in class for thirty-five minutes. So there's still twenty-five minutes left in class."

"I'm going to the kitchens," Brianna said suddenly. She took a step forward and turned towards her friend. "You're welcome to come with me."

After a moment of thought, Remus responded with a one-word answer. "Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Here's another chapter for ya'. Thanks so much for reviewing. I love reading them and the make me write faster. So enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Harry Potter

* * *

School had been in session for just over a month. The first years had stopped getting lost on the way to class and were actually starting to fit in. They were getting bold and starting to my friends outside of their house and year. It was rather sweet to have an eleven year old girl come up to you and ask for help with basic Transfiguration, or and eleven year old boy come up to ask about something or other. Of course, neither of those things happened to Brianna Chase, but they did happen to Lily, and she just raved on and on about how she loved it. Brianna on the other hand had never, in all of her seven years, been approached in the common room for help by a younger student. _Stupid. _Even the first years, knew. They all knew. Everyone knew. Or it might have something to do with the fact that she was never in the common room. After classes, Brianna liked to go out to the courtyard. Why? Because she couldn't stand to be inside all day long. She needed some freedom. The courtyard gave her that sense of freedom. The wind blowing through her dark brown hair and over her olive toned skin. The sun hitting her exposed skin, warming her body and core. The smell of the pine tree that the wind carried. Everything. She just loved it.

And the courtyard is where Remus Lupin found Brianna Chase late one windy and cloudy Wednesday afternoon. She was sitting with her back pressed against the grey stone wall and facing the castle. However, she was in her own little world. The tip of her black feather quill was between her canine teeth and a small jar of ink beside her. The wind was tousling her long dark hair, that she'd worn down today, much to his pleasure. After a moment, she seemed to give up with whatever she was doing and slapped the book n her lap closed and pushed the parchment away. Her pressed the heels of her small hand into her eyes and exhaled loudly. That seemed to be his cue.

"Brianna," he said lightly as he approached her small frame. She looked up at him and noted that he had a small plum in his hand. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and swept her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, yeah, fine," she answered. "What's the plum for?" she questioned, not wanting to talk about herself or her issues.

"You," he said as he handed it to her. "Lily said that you didn't come to lunch. It's not a lot, but you know where the kitchens are if you want something else."

Brianna rolled the plum between her small hands and sighed. Lily cared to much of her own good. Of course, it wasn't like she was making the fact that she wasn't eating as much subtle. In the past week, she'd skipped six meals. Granted, out of the thirty-seven it wasn't a lot of skipped meals. However, when the person skipping meals was Brianna, it was almost a sign of the apocalypse. However, at first she wasn't skipping meals for a reason for them to be worried about. At first, she was in the library knee-deep in homework and notes, trying to pass all her classes in her seventh year. She was tired of the _stupid_, floating around in her head. However, as she started to miss meals, the _fat_ started to fade away. Not that Brianna ate like Sirius, who one would think had never seen food in his entire life, but she liked food. She ate until she was satisfied. Sirius ate until he was almost to the point of misery. She rubbed the plum on the sleeve of her white button down shirt, before speaking to Remus, "Thanks." If they were taking notice, she'd have to do better.

"You know my offer still stands," he told her as he sat down on the uneven ground of the courtyard. "For help."

Brianna looked over at her textbook and sighed. The Arithmancy class was, to put it simply, kicking her ass. The first day of class, there had been a test over the material from last year, to see what she needed to teach again and all that good stuff. When Brianna had opened the test and looked over the questions, she realized that she was screwed. She didn't even know what the first answer was. Hell, she didn't even know what the first question meant. Remus had seen the panicked look in her eyes as they scanned the questions hoping to see a question that she knew, and he longed to help her, just like he'd done in Xylomancy. Alas, he couldn't. The test was invisible to anyone be the taker. When the class was over, he'd tried to console her, but she made a bee line for the Gryffindor Common Room and by the time he got there she'd disappeared into the girl's dorm and didn't reappear until the next morning.

"I think I'm going to drop the class," she admitted as the wind blew through her hair again. She looked over at him and saw something flicker through his hazel eyes. Disappointment. He was disappointed in her. _Stupid. _He thought she was stupid. He thought she was stupid for even thinking that she could handle the class. Stupid for thinking that she even smart enough to take the class. His help wouldn't help her. The Professor's help wouldn't help her. Despite the fact that it was a class of Divination, Trelawney wasn't the Professor. Trelawney had never been one for numbers. So Professor Durrance was hired to teach the course. "Don't look at me like that," Brianna snapped uncharacteristically. "I'm not smart enough for this class."

"Brianna, let me help you, " Remus said as he leaned across her body, his arm brushing against her knee as he picked up the textbook. "Let me help you until the next test, if you do poorly you can drop it, if you pass, you keep the class."

The brunette sat with her bottom lip between her perfectly pointed canine teeth. "Fine," she replied. "Not right now though. If I ever see another number again, I might scream."

"Fair enough," Remus said as he placed the book between them. "Eat the plum, Bri."

She rolled her eyes and bit into the plum. The juice dripped down her chin and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. The plum was sweet and sour at the same time. Lily was right, she hadn't been at lunch, and she'd come in so late to breakfast that she'd only managed to eat half a piece of toast before she had to go to the first year Potions class. Then she'd been so concerned with her DADA essay that she'd completely missed lunch. This plum was the first thing she'd had in hours. "It's a full moon tonight," she said as she tilted her head upward.

Remus looked over at her with a visible flinch. He then looked upward as well. "I know."

"It's my favorite time of the month," she continued. With every syllable she spoke, Remus' heart ached. "I love the sound of the wolves in the forest. It's kind of calming." Remus couldn't help but snort. She thought it was peaceful. She was completely insane. There was something wrong with her. She turned her dark eyes to him and tilted her head to the side, her hair falling over her shoulder blocking the side of her face from the castle, and shadowing her face. "What?" she questioned.

"I beg your pardon?" he questioned.

"You snorted. Why?"

"Well, you said it was peaceful. You know, from lessons in DADA from third year, that the transformation to a werewolf is painful. They're violent creatures that don't know what they're doing when they are like that. A werewolf would kill his best friend if he got in the way."

"Yes, yes, but werewolves are just misunderstood."

Remus' eyebrow arched. Misunderstood? He hadn't thought of it that way in a long time. And he wasn't going to start now. He would always see himself as a monster. A horrible monster that's not deserving of any happiness. "We should go in," Remus suggested as he stood and held his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her up after she'd grabbed her book and quill. "It's a little chilly."

"Agreed."

* * *

Brianna sat on the sofa in the common room facing the dying fire, with an Astronomy book on her lap. It was nearing eight and the common room was oddly empty. Of course, she was glad for that, since Madam Prince had kicked her out of the library. After her conversation with Remus, she realized that she had an essay due the next day in DADA over something that she hadn't bothered to pay any attention to. So after bidding Remus a hasty goodbye, she ran to the library to take out the books that she needed to write her paper. She then went to the back of the library to write it. The paper had taken longer than she thought it would, and when she finished the paper it was about seven And just in time too, because Madam Prince approached her, tapping her non-existent watch, letting her know that it was time to go. She then packed her bag and took her paper, that was mediocre at best, and tucked it into her DADA textbook before leaving the library. With a rumbling in her stomach, Brianna turned and walked down stairs to the kitchens. However, she was only there for a moment. The brunette grabbed another plum and a strawberry tart. Then she made her way to the common room, taking small bits of the plum and tart. She walked slowly and hug close to the walls. She always felt safer and less noticeable if she hugged the wall. By the time she reached the Gryffindor tower, it was seven-forty -five. She took a seat in front of the fire and plucked her Astronomy book from her bag. Now to do the reading for Friday's lesson.

At exactly eight o five, there were a series of footsteps stomping down the stairs from the boy's dormitory. Brianna arched her eyebrow and looked over her shoulder at the staircase. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew all stopped short as they spotted her on the sofa. James and Sirius quickly shoved something into their pockets and looked at her curiously.

"What are you doing, Bri?" Sirius questioned as if she'd done something wrong.

"Reading for class," she replied. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to the kitchens," James said quickly, a little too quickly.

"Ok," Brianna said, her voice laced with suspicion. "Bring me a pear, just in case I'm still up."

Concern flashed through James' eyes for a moment, "You weren't at dinner, Bri."

She mentally slapped herself. Damn it. "I know, I was doing an essay. You can bring a sandwich, too, if you'd like."

Sirius muttered something to James and he sighed. "Yeah, all right."

With that the three boys exited the common room. Brianna turned back to her book and sighed. The full moon was rising and lighting the sky. Quickly, the girl shut her book and muttered _Nox_ to make all of the lights in the room go out. Bri then extinguished the fire. Pitch darkness fell over the common room and she felt her way to the window seat. Immediately, she saw the constellation Aquarius and then Cepheus. It took her another moment, to find Grus and Lacerta. Pegasus jumped put at her next. Constellations and stars. The way the solar system works and the pull of the moons. That's what she was good at. She understood that.

The howling of the wolves greeted her ears. One. Two. Then three. They weren't together. They were just passing in the night. Bri pressed her palm to the windowpane and squinted her eyes. There were two figures running from the Forbidden Forest. They didn't look human though. It was apparent that they were animals that were scared away by the wolves. Her brown eyes watched them, trying to place what they were. Antlers. A stag and something else. However, the stag and the other unnamed animal disappeared from her vision. Faintly, she heard another howl in the distance, farther away than the Forrest. A fourth. However, it was too distance to pay much attention too. So she focused her mind on the closer wolves. Ignoring the other wolf in the distance.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **So Happy Fourth of July, to all the people in the USA. And here's the update! So you might notice that it's moving kind of quickly, well at least in my opinion anyway it is. But I have something else planned out for this, not don't worry about it. So I'm going to stop talk so that you can enjoy this really long chapter.

**DISCLAIMER: **I still don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

The next day the boys were nowhere to be found. James didn't appear next to Lily at breakfast with another attempt to get her to date him. Sirius wasn't sitting across from her stuffing his face with food. The action had always been disgusting. His shoving all sorts of random food items into his mouth, with no hesitation. However, now it was almost nauseating. In fact the sight of food was starting to become nauseating. But she had to put on a good show. Peter wasn't there either. Although, when he was there no one really noticed. Brianna was more disappointed to see that Remus wasn't there. HIs presence was comforting and to have it gone was unnerving.

Lily brushed her hair over her shoulder and her gaze fell on the entrance to the Great Hall again. A smile played on Brianna's lips. "Looking for James?" she asked as she picked at a crescent.

Lily jumped, as if she'd forgotten that Brianna was there. Then she scoffed. "Of course not," Lily replied as she looked towards the door again. "You haven't seen him have you?" Lily asked, her voice seemed to be laced with concern. "It's not like them, any of them, to skip breakfast."

Brianna shrugged as she poked at the crust of her toast. "I know." And as if they knew that the two girls were talking about them, James and his friends appeared in the doorway. Even from the distance, Brianna could tell there was something wrong. James was limping, although he was hiding it well. Sirius' wrist was bandaged. And Peter, poor Peter was covered in scratches. Remus was nowhere to be found. The appearance of the boys didn't improve as they approached. It was then that she could see they were all covered in scratches and bruises. "What happened to you?" Brianna asked as Sirius sat next to her and lay his head on her shoulder, like a small child seeking comfort in his mother. She ran her fingers through his hair in a motherly way.

"Well good morning to you, too, Brianna," James said tiredly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "We fell down the stairs when they decided to shift when we snuck out last night," James explained. He took a seat next to Lily and sighed. "Hello, Lily."

Brianna traded looks with Lily. That was a first. He hadn't asked her out or offered her a flower or a kiss. He didn't ask for her hand in marriage. "Are you alright, Potter?" Lily questioned as she watched him poke the food on his plate in a very pathetic way.

"Yeah, fine," he replied as he tried to smile at Lily, but on succeeded in a half smile. "Right, Sirius?" James said. When he didn't get a response, he looked over at the boy and realized that he'd fallen asleep in Brianna's shoulder. "He may drool on you, Bri."

Brianna was very tempted to shake him off her. It would have been perfect payback for him waking her up every time she was asleep and he saw it for the past seven years. However, he looked harmless asleep and she would have felt terrible if she'd done it. So she let him lay on her shoulder and snooze. At least until it was time to go to class. She picked at another piece of toast and sighed.

"You gonna eat that Brianna," James asked as he shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"I don't like the crust," she lied. James scoffed, but didn't say anything to her about it. "Where is Remus?" she asked after a moment. "We have a partner thing in Xylomancy today."

James tensed and then sighed. "He said he'll be there." James looked up. "Quidditch trails are tomorrow. I finally got the pitch when it fit into my schedule."

"Okay, that's great," she replied to his statement about the trails. "But where is he now?" she asked as she leaned against the table. The shift in motion startled Sirius awake. "Sorry, Black," Bri apologized. "Remus, where is he?" she questioned again.

Lily and James exchanged looks and no one spoke. As James opened his mouth to speak, probably to tell her a lie, the morning post came in. James sighed in relief, he could hold off on tell her for a little longer. A black barn owl flew towards Brianna. She recognized it as her mother's owl. It had an evil look about it. She'd always thought that. That's why she had a cat. Cats were normal and didn't have that evil look about them. The owl floated to a stop and waited for Brianna to take the letter. The brunette sighed and untied the letter. The owl nipped roughly at her finger and the flew away.

With her finger wrapped in a napkin, Brianna opened the letter.

_Brianna,_

_I suspect that your sister never told you that I asked you to write me. However, I know Kendall, so I assume that you decided that you didn't want to write me. Which I find hurtful. However, that's not what I wanted to write to you about. I've already told Kendall, so I figured it was best to tell you as well. Over the Christmas Holidays your sister and I will be at a beauty pageant. You father will be with us, since it's rare that he come out to see Kendall compete. So you need to find somewhere else to stay. I'm telling you now, so that you can make plans. We know that you'll probably stay with that Muggle friend of yours, Jilly? So just owl your father when you make a decision._

_Mum_

Brianna rolled her eyes. "Lily, do you think I can stay with you over Christmas Break?"

"Of course, Bri," Lily answered. "We can poke Petunia with our wands and pretend to curse her."

"Brianna," the voice of her sister rang in her ears. Bri sighed and looked over her shoulder. "So when are you going to drop Arithmancy?"

"Beg your pardon?" Brianna questioned her face starting to redden.

"Well, the cute guy in my house, said that you completely failed that first test. He said that he sat behind you and that you looked like you were going to cry when you left the class. He said that you should just drop it now," Kendall said. Brianna shot her sister a look as she stood and shouldered her bag. Kendall grabbed her wrist and flashed her a smile. "I thought you'd rather hear it from me. You know, you may not like me, but we're sisters. I care about you."

Brianna shrugged out of her sister's hold and walked towards the door. Her sister's words stung. Brianna, no matter how often Kendall proved herself to be unworthy of it, looked up to her sister. Idolized her, maybe. She was also jealous of her as well. Kendall was beautiful. She had light brown hair and green-ish hazel eyes. When she walked into the room all eyes were on her. Guys lined up to have their heartbroken by her. She was a beauty queen. She had enough sashes and tiaras to give one to almost every girl in her house. She had a killer smile that made you want to look at her. At least that's how she was in public. At home, it seemed she spent all her time trying to make everyone there miserable. Yelling and breaking things. Making it impossible to be happy there. It was amazing that she hadn't managed to get into Slytherin. No doubt that she was hard working. She had to be to win as many pageants as she did. Dedicated for sure. And loyal at least to those that she wanted to be. Patient on the occasion. She had four out of five of the major traits. However, determination was also a trait of Slytherin. She was resourceful to a tee and cunning to a fault. Ambitious and a strong believer in self-preservation, she'd throw anyone under the bus, whenever she could. Intelligent for sure. Had Kendall managed to trick the sorting hat. Or maybe the hate was just wrong. After all, it had put her in Gryffindor. Brianna Chase was not brave. She wasn't courageous. She wasn't daring. She did share some common beliefs with knights about the code of chivalry. However, she was none of the things that a Gryffindor was supposed to be. However, she was placed in the house of the brave and daring. Maybe the hat was wrong.

Brianna found herself at the entrance of the Gryffindor Common Room. When she left the Great Hall, she'd thought she was on the way to her Transfiguration class. However, she was in front of the common room. She muttered the password to the Fat Lady .

"Are you okay, dear?" the Fat Lady asked. "You look a little pale."

She snorted at the statement and flashed the woman in the portrait a half smile. "I'm always pale, but yes, I'm okay."

The portrait swung open and Brianna walked in. She brushed her dark hair out of her eyes and walked in. The brunette sat on the sofa and ran her fingers through her dark hair. She placed her bag on the floor and pulled put her Arithmancy textbook. Since Remus was nowhere to be found, she wasn't going to go to Xylomancy. She kind of understood things in that class. She needed to study harder for Arithmancy. However, as she settled into the sofa the portrait hole swung open.

"Brianna," Remus voiced in surprise as he entered the common room.

Her dark brown eyes flicked over the top of her book and she looked right into the eyes of Remus Lupin. Scratches covered his face. There were bandages on his palms. He looked worse the James, Sirius, and Peter combined. "Remus," she started.

"I'm fine," he told her, hearing the tone in her voice. "What are you doing here?" he asked as he slowly made his way towards the sofa. "You mind?"

"Not at all," she replied as she waved to her hand at the empty seat. "I'm didn't want to go to class."

"Did you enjoy your full moon?" Remus questioned as he settled into the sofa.

She nodded. "Yeah, I enjoyed my full moon."

"Lucky you," Remus muttered under his breath. When she asked what he said, he replied that it was nothing. The two fell into a silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was just a silence. He could hear her quiet breathing as she furrowed her eyebrows trying to make sense of the things on the page in front of her. "You're trying too hard," he said as he reached over and lowered the book from her face. The slow movement caused him great pain, but the arch in her eyebrow and the confused look in her eyes was enough to wash it away.

"What?"

"You're trying too hard. Study a little at a time. You're reading three and four chapters at a time, and not understanding a word of it. Read one chapter at a time and take notes, in your own words, then read over them and then read over them again and again until you understand it. Then move on."

"That'll take forever," she whined.

"Maybe, but at least you won't be wasting your time," Remus said through clenched teeth. A sudden wave of pain washed over him and it was all he could to keep from crying out.

"Are you alright?" she questioned as she tucked her feet under her body and leaned towards him. As if she could do something about his pain.

"Yes," he muttered.

"What did you boy's get into last night?"she asked as she pushed her hair out of her eyes and leaned on the back of the sofa.

Remus tensed. He could tell her. He could tell her everything. And the way that she was looking at him, with her curious brown eyes and the way her hair fell over her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side, he wanted to. Alas, he couldn't . He knew he couldn't. Not right now anyway. They were starting to build a close bond, it only took seven years. He wasn't going to ruin this by blabbing out his secret. "We were out last night and the staircases shifted. Peter stopped and the Sirius ran into him and fell and the rest is history." He sighed. "Are you going to trials tomorrow?"

"Don't know," she responded.

"You should. You're good."

Summers at the Potter Residence had become a tradition for the boys. That's where the created the Marauder's Map. It's where James, Sirius, and Peter practiced their transforming. The Potter Residence was home to the boys. And the summer of their fifth year, it had become a getaway for Brianna Chase. The Potter's and the Chase's were friendly. Mr. Potter worked with Brianna's dad at the Ministry a few years back. Mrs. Potter had never really liked Mrs. Chase and how she placed her daughter into the pageant world and then ignored the other. So when Mr. Potter let on that Mrs. Chase was going out of town and Brianna needed a place to stay the Potters took her in. And Lily wasn't going to leave her best friend there alone with four boys, so she tagged along. As part of tradition, there was a beginning of summer Quidditch game. Brianna played Chaser. In their five years of knowing her, they had no clue that she even knew how to fly a broomstick. But when she mounted her broomstick and flew circles around James and Sirius, they both had to admit that she would be an excellent addition to the team. That was when Remus had started to really notice her. When she started to stutter when he spoke to her and his cheeks would turn red when their eyes met.

"You're just saying that," she replied as she cheeks turned a little pink.

"Yeah, I am," Remus teased as he stood from the sofa. "We have a class to attend."

"Not going," she replied as she looked up at him. "You can go. Someone needs to."

Remus leaned on the arm of the sofa and rolled his eyes. "I'll pass," he stated. "I'm tired," and it was obvious that he was. He started towards the stairs that lead to the boy's dormitory. He paused. "You should go to trails, though, Bri." He started up the stairs.

"Have a nice nap," she commented, as she stretched her legs out and placed the book on her lap. She'd bookmarked the book on chapter six, but Remus was right. She was just reading words and not understanding. So she flipped the book all the way back to chapter one, pulled out a quill, parchment, and ink and started over at the beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **So I'm back, and here's another chapter. It's super long, and I was going to spilt it into two chapters, but I couldn't find a good place to split it up. So I just left it as one big chapter. I'm not too fond of this chapter, it's been sitting on my computer for months and I kept re-writing., but I think that this is as good as it is going to get. So that's that. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. -insert sad face here-.

* * *

When she woke up, it wasn't quite bright outside, but it wasn't dark either. The brunette sighed and buried her face in her pillow. No one else was awake. The room was filled with soft snores and soft breathing. Or if you were like Lily Evans, you were perfect asleep. Lily never moved in her sleep, she went to sleep on her left side facing Brianna's bed, because they usually stay up late and talk, and woke up on her left side facing her bed. Brianna rolled around in her sleep like a cyclone. Lily's red hair was always so perfect when she woke up, only a few knots and tangles. When Brianna went to sleep her hair was in a messy bun, and every morning when she woke up the bun was gone and her hair was tangled beyond belief, like it was now. Bri pushed her hair from her eyes and sighed. Now or never.

James had pushed Quidditch trails, back a few weeks, because the Headmaster told him that he had to. Trails couldn't happen within the first two weeks of school. He wanted everyone to be settled in and have time to focus of school, because that's what they were there for after all. James had been furious of course, because after that two week mark in the term, the other Houses had reserved the field. Slytherin had it first, then Ravenclaw, who needn't bother having a Quidditch team to start with, then Hufflepuff, who also didn't need a Quidditch team either. So finally after six weeks of term Gryffindor was finally able to hold its trails.

Brianna took a quick shower, knowing that if she took a long one she would probably change her mind and crawl back into bed with her wet hair soaking the pillow. She dressed in a set of Quidditch robes and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was pale, just like the fat lady had said. There were circles under her eyes that were slowly darkening. A constant headache pounding. She was a mess. Brianna reached over and grabbed Marleen's makeup bag. They were both the same skin tone, well they had been. When she started with the concealer, she realized that it wasn't matching. Her skin had lost its olive tint. With a sigh, she reached over to grab her Lily's makeup. The concealer matched almost perfectly. She wasn't quite as pale as Lily, but she no longer had the olive toned that she and Marleen had once shared. With that knowledge, she finished concealing her dark under eye circles with Lily's concealer and then left the bathroom.

The dark haired girl sighed as she headed down the stairs. She was surprised to see that she wasn't the only person awake. "Remus," she heard her voice say.

"Bri," he voiced in surprise. He rubbed his hand down his face and looked over at her with a smile. "So you're going to trails?" he questioned as he closed the book on his lap.

"Yes, I'll go and make a fool of myself," she answered with half smile.

"Well, you just missed, James," Remus told her as he gestured to the portrait hole. "And you won't make a fool of yourself. You're good, Bri."

She blushed and ducked her head as she started towards the door. "You're not coming?" she questioned in a quiet voice that sent chills down Remus' spine. It was as if the voice was just meant for his ears. Her words only for him.

"I can, if you'd like," he told her as the chill left his body. "Would you like?"

She paused for a long moment, "Very much so."

Remus stood and pushed his hands into his pockets as he approached her. He nodded to the down subtly and the two Gryffindors walked out of the portrait hole and into the cool air of the corridor. A chill covered Brianna's body and she shivered. "Cold?" Remus questioned.

"No, no, I'm fine," Brianna answered quietly.

"You're lying," Remus said as he handed her his jumper that he'd taken of while she was speaking. "Here, Brianna." The raven-haired girl shook her head rapidly, her dark ponytail swinging with her motions. "Brianna, here."

"No, thank you," the raven-haired girl said as she continued to resist.

Remus took two quick steps and stopped in front of his friend. Brianna, who actually hadn't been paying attention to where she was going, ran right into him. Completely unprepared for the collision, she stumbled backwards, just barely regaining her balance before falling over. She brushed some hair that had fallen from her ponytail from her eyes and then look up at Remus. He was standing before her with his jumper held out to her.

"Take the jumper, Brianna," Remus commanded.

Brianna sighed and huffed. "Alright, alright," she replied as she took the jumper and pulled it over her head. "Pleased now?" She inhaled slowly. His scent filled her nose, something so natural that she almost missed it. She cleared her throat and nodded. "Shall we?"

"Yes we shall," Remus said as he pushed his hands into his pockets. "So the studying?"

"The studying," Brianna asked as she looked up from him. She'd be inhaling the scent on his jumper and not paying attention to much of anything.

"The studying," Remus continued. "How did it go?"

"Huh?" she asked. "Oh, oh, the studying. It was fine," she said as she picked a piece of lint off of the jumper that he'd given her.

"Brianna," he said slowly, "How'd it really go?"

Brianna shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked down at the stairs as they walked, anything to avoid eye contact with Remus. _Stupid. _"It was better that it usually is. I kind of understand the first thee chapters now."

"How long where you awake, Brianna?" Remus questioned.

"I'm not sure," she answered quickly.

"Brianna?" Remus said in a warning voice.

"I was up pretty late, Remus," the girl told him as they exited the castle and walked into the crisp morning air. "But I really did start to understand things." _Stupid. _Sure she was understanding things, but the class was already on chapter five and she was just starting to read chapter four. She was behind. She was slacking. In her mind, she was not making progress. In her mind, she was still doing less than expectable. She was still failing.

Remus wanted to argue with her. He wanted to tell her that make herself say up and stare at words on a page until they made sense was not the way to go. However, he could see that she was still disappointed in herself. He could see that she was still angry that she wasn't understanding the material as well as she could. He could see all of that and he wasn't even looking at her eyes. Her body language gave it all away. She wasn't pleased with herself. So as much as he wanted to tell her a better way to study, he didn't. Small steps. That's how it had always been with her. Small steps.

Before she could say anything to him and he could think of anything else to say to her, James spotted them walking on to the Pitch from the spot that he was standing. A smile broke across his face as he noticed that Brianna was dressed for trails. Even though there was a line of his fellow classmates signing in, he made his way to his two friends. "Brianna, I guess I should send everyone home that's here for chaser, eh?" Brianna's face turned a light pink and she shrugged. "You're number three," he told her as he turned back to the table.

"I haven't signed in yet," Brianna called after him.

James laughed. "Well, I knew that you were going to show. No worries."

Those last two words had the exact opposite effect that they were supposed to have had. Immediately, Brianna felt her palms get sweaty. Her heart started racing. She hadn't been nervous until just then. She hadn't given much thought to what she was going to have to do. She was going to have to get on her broomstick and fly around catching Quaffles while James Potter judged her. She was about to audition for the Quidditch team.

"Bri," Remus' voice called to her. "Brianna."

When she snapped out of her thoughts she was breathing heavily. Her mental distress had caused her to become physical distress. There was a thin layer of sweat on her forehead, and she was panicking. "Huh?" she question on a shaky exhale. She was dizzy. Everything was spinning. She was suddenly hungry. She hadn't actually been hungry in a few days. However, she was hungry now. She was starving in fact. Distantly, she heard Remus calling her name, but everything was darkening and spinning. She wanted to answer him, but she couldn't. Her mouth was dry. She was tired. All she really wanted to do was just close her eyes. To make the world stop spinning.

"Brianna," Remus was calling to her. She opened her dark eyes and looked at Remus. He was over her and looking very anxious. The brunette blinked her dark eyes and focused her attention past Remus at the sky. Was she lying down? "Brianna!" he said more fiercely. Her brown eyes slowly focused on him. "When was the last time that you ate?" he questioned to her in a hushed tone. She couldn't think. "Answer me!"

"I don't know," she replied hoarsely. It was just then that she realized what had happened. She'd fainted. She'd gotten so nervous that she fainted. _Stupid._ She felt her face start to warm as she tried to sit up. Remus' hand greeted her chest as he slowly pushed her back down. Her senses were slowly starting to come back to her. People were standing around her whispering. "People are talking, Remus," she said quietly. Her dark eyes were starting to burn. _Go on and cry, stupid. _She blinked rapidly and scrunched her nose, hoping that would fight of the tears, but it didn't. They were falling before she could do anything about it.

"Sod off, there's nothing to see," she heard James shout. "Yeah, you Miller. Away, away with you all." His voice was getting closer. She could hear the grass rustling beside her as James knelt beside her. "Are you alright, Brianna?" he asked as he attempted to wipe away the river of tears falling from her eyes. "Sit her up, mate," James suggested as he and Remus pushed her shaking body up. She pulled her knees to her chest and sighed heavily as she tried to stop herself from crying.

"Vance, go fetch Lily, will you. Don't tell her I sent you just say it's about Brianna," James shouted to a girl. "Go! Now!" The raven-haired girl mounted her broomstick and flew off in a hurry. James draped one of Brianna's arms around his shoulder and lifted her off the ground and into his arms in one easy motion. He noticed her was lighter than before. Much. "Stay here until, Lily gets here. I'm going to take her to the locker room," James told Remus as he carried her away.

Once in the locker room, James at her on the floor and then sat beside her. Tears were still streaming down her face, and she was still shaking from the power of her sobs. He knew better than to say anything to her. She was a touchy person about her personal life and things going on with her. However, this was something serious. This wasn't her sister bullying her or her mother being completely rude to her. This was something going on with Brianna Chase and Brianna Chase only.

"Brianna," James started slowly trying to pick the best way to approach this topic. "Bri, what's going on?" She shook her head, tears still falling. "Stop crying, Bri, you're going to give yourself a headache." No change. "Brianna, you have to talk to us so we can help you. You have too." Her dark brown eyes were focused on something across the room, although he wasn't sure that she could see it thought all her tears. "Brianna-"

"Bri!" Lily shouted as she barged into the locker room. She was clad crème colored pajama set. Her red hair was in a messy bun and her green eyes were panicked. She spotted her friend sitting next to James, sobbing, and made her way to her quickly. "What happened?" Lily asked the boys as she pulled Brianna close to her and ran her fingers through her dark hair. For a split second, Remus desperately wanted to be the only consoling her. "What happened?" Lily repeated.

"She fainted," Remus said.

"Why?" Lily questioned.

"She must have gotten nervous. That coupled with the fact that she probably hasn't eaten in a few days," Remus said in a haste.

"What?"

"You haven't noticed?" Remus questioned. "She's been skipping meals since the start of term. She's lost weight and she pale."

"Bri's always been pale," James commented. However, he was looking at Brianna closely.

Lily seemed the most shocked. "How did I not notice? She's my best friend. I see her every day. She sleeps right next to me. How did I not see this?" Lily asked. She seemed to be on the verge of tears. Brianna was the first person she met on the Hogwarts Express. She was the first girl she called her best friend. She loved Brianna dearly. Brianna was the sister that she never had. She was all of that and Lily couldn't even see when she need her the most. She couldn't see that her best friend, her sister, was struggling. "I can't believe this."

"Lily it's not your fault," James offered softly. "We all missed it, aside from Remus."

"Why didn't you say something?" Lily questioned harshly.

"I didn't think that it was this serious. I just put it together myself." Remus said from his position on the other side of the room. "She needs help."

"No, she needs her friends," Lily said. "She needs her friends to be better friends than they have been the past few weeks."

It wasn't until then that the friends noticed that there was one less sound in the room. Brianna's sobbing had stopped. Now there was just a blank look in her eyes. Her dark eyes were just empty. Her face was tear-streaked and red. Her eyes were completely bloodshot. She looked completely exhausted.

"Brianna," Lily started slowly. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," the brunette answered hollowly.

"Is Remus telling the truth?" Lily questioned. "Is he?"

The brunette was silent for a long while. Her dark eyes focused on the opposite side of the room, at the spot beside Remus. She exhaled slowly and then shrugged. "No. It's not. I just got nervous and then dizzy. Nothing to worry about."

"Brianna, why are you lying?" Lily asked. "Have you eaten today?" Lily asked.

"She won't answer you, Lily," Remus told her after a moment of Brianna's continued silence. "She's not going to talk to any of us. She's not ready."

"Ready for what?" Lily questioned with her red eyebrows arched.

"She's not ready to let us know what's going on in her head," Remus told Lily. "She doesn't want us to know."

"Do you not care about her, Remus?' Lily snapped. "I don't care if she's ready to tell us anything, she's going to talk. She's going to tell me, so I can help her."

Remus didn't quite hear the rest of what Lily said. He'd stopped listening when she asked if he cared about her. Had that not been clear to everyone? He was pretty sure that he was good at hiding it from Brianna, but in all honestly Brianna was so oblivious most of the time that she made hiding things from her easy. She never noticed when boys flirted with her. She never ever noticed when they were interested in her. She was one of the best looking girls in the school, of course she was oblivious to that fact as well.

"Remus," Lily said to him affectively pulling him from his thoughts. He pushed off the wall he'd been leaning on and walked pass Lily without a single word. He glanced down at Brianna, but said nothing to her either. He didn't bother to look at James, and then he left the locker room.

"What just happened?" Lily asked.

"You might want to talk to Remus later, I think you've upset him," James said as he looked down at Brianna. "But first, we need to get her to the Hospital Wing."

Lily nodded, actually agreeing with James about something. She would talk with Remus later. Right now, Brianna was the most important thing on her mind.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So here's another chapter. I think that I am quite fond on this chapter and that it's super wonderful and a little fluffy. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. You should tell me how much you enjoy it in a review. I have a lot more favorites and followers for this story than I do reviews... I know you're out there. (: I promise I do not bite... Remus on the other hand... ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Brianna was not talking to them. Brianna was not talking to anyone. In fact, no one had seen Brianna outside of class in days. Brianna would always show up to her classes just before the started, so that she would not have to talk to anyone and she would sit in the back of the classroom, as far away from everyone as she could. Then as soon as class was over, she would leave. It was almost like she was never there. However, it was good to see her. At least they knew that she was bathing and changing clothes. Brianna was never around for meal times. The spot next to Lily had been empty since Quidditch trails. Just like the bed next to Lily's had been empty since trails.

"I've had enough," Lily shouted one night after she walked up to her dormitory hoping to see Brianna there. She was disappointed when she found her friend's been in the same amount of disarray that it had been in for days. "That's it," she said in an equally loud manner.

James and Sirius looked up at her as she took a seat in the empty chair next to the fireplace. They had also noticed that Brianna was all but disappeared from the face of the planet. The day after James and Lily had escorted her to the Hospital Wing, he, Sirius, and Lily had gone to check up on her. However, when they got to the top of the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey told them that she had released Brianna a few hours after they had brought her in. The boys weren't too concerned about it, until Lily said that Brianna hadn't come back to their dorm last night. One night of roaming the castle corridors wasn't that awful, but it turned into two nights, then three. By that time Lily had all the Prefects looking for her as they patrolled the corridors at night. Three turned into four and then five. Lily was all but exhausted from waiting in hopes of at least seeing Brianna. Today was day seven.

"What's it?" Sirius questioned.

"I know you have a map," she told the two boys. James and Sirius shared a look. "Use it to find her." James stared at her for a moment. How had he not thought about the map before? "James Potter, I know you have a map and you are going to use it to find Brianna, or Merlin help me, I will give you detention for every little thing you do for the rest of the school year," Lily threatened.

Without needing anymore clarification or threatening from Lily, James reached into his bag and grabbed a folded bit of parchment. He touched the tip of his wand to the map and quietly muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." With those words, the Map spring to life. Black in filled the pages as it revealed itself them. The portrait hole swung open and James all but jumped to cover the map. He hadn't been paying attention to how was near the common room entrance. However, upon discovering that it was just Remus entering the room, he relaxed back into his seat on the sofa. "Hello, Remus."

"Have you seen her?" Lily asked, before Remus could respond to James' greeting.

"Brianna," James clarified.

"I haven't," Remus responded more so to James than to Lily. He was just reeling over the fact that she had had the audacity to ask him if he even cared about Brianna.

James and Sirius were quiet as they searched the map for her name. After a moment, Remus joined them. James had scanned the map several times before he leaned back on the sofa and sighed roughly. Sirius followed in suit moments later. Remus, however, continued to looked at the map carefully. Searching for something they could have missed.

"Lily, I didn't see her," James told her honestly. "You're welcome to come and look for yourself."

Lily shook her head, she knew that James Potter would never lie about something as serious as this. James cared about Brianna and her well-being. He always seemed genuinely disappointed to see that Brianna wasn't coming to meals. He was hurt by the fact that she didn't feel like she could confide in him, or Lily, or Sirius, or Remus, or anyone for that matter. The fact that James Potter was letting it be known than her cared about some outside of his little group was placing him in a whole new light for Lily Evans.

"Are you alright, Lily?" James asked her.

"Me?" she questioned with a soft smile. She had been so worried about Brianna that she hadn't really had the time to worry about herself. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"She's there," Remus said suddenly as he pointed to the Library. James gave him a questioning look, forgetting that he hadn't closed the map or put it away. "Brianna, she's there," Remus repeated before he left the Common Room.

James looked at the map and saw Brianna's name moving about the back corner of the library. He sighed in relief. It had been a week, and they had finally found her. James closed the map, after saying "Mischief Managed," to clear the contents of the parchment. He then placed the map into his bag and settled back into the position he'd been in prior to Lily' little outburst. Sirius followed suit. Lily sat across from them stunned. Just stunned.

"What in Merlin's name do you think that you're doing?" Lily shouted at the two boys across from her.

"Homework," Sirius said slowly. "Surely you know what homework is, Evans."

Lily scoffed and stood up quickly, "I can't believe you two. We know where Brianna is and you aren't going to get her." Lily ran her fingers through her red hair. "Well, I am."

James stood and grabbed Lily's wrist as she stormed past him. "Lily, Lily wait," he told her as he pulled her back to the sofa. "Look, just let Remus get her. He's already out there and she's not going to want a bunch of people charging at her and asking her questions." Lily sighed and took her seat in the chair again. She folded her arms across her chest and huffed. "You haven't talked to Remus yet, have you?" James questioned as he sat back down.

"No," Lily answered quickly. "Why? Why all the talk about, Remus?" James and Sirius shared another look. "What?"

"When you asked him if he cared about Brianna, you hurt his feelings," James told her.

"Well, it seemed like he didn't. He was taking her very irrational side in the situation," Lily snapped.

"Lily, you have to be as blind and oblivious, as Brianna is," Sirius teased as she looked up from his book. "Remus is in love with her. He's been in love with Brianna for as long as I can remember."

* * *

When Remus entered the library he was hit by a wave of silence. The air in the room was still. Almost like everyone in the room was holding their breath. The door closing behind him seemed to echo endlessly as he walked down the aisles of books to the place that the map said Brianna was in. As he walked, he allowed his fingers to trail along the spines of the books. The further back in the library he got, the more unused and dusty the books got. On some one the spines, he could barely read the name of the book. That wasn't his purpose though. He wasn't here to explore the back of the Library. He was here to find Brianna.

"It's been a week, Brianna," Remus said when he spotted her sitting at an old looking table with her back turned to him. "A week."

Brianna froze. How did he find her? She placed the quill that she'd been holding in the jar of ink next to her textbook. Her shaking hand make that a little difficult, but she managed. She brought one of her shaking hand up to her hair and pushed it behind her ear. "I am aware of that," she said, her voice was hoarse and scratchy. She hadn't spoken to anyone in a week.

Remus sighed and ran his hand over his face, as Brianna turned to face him. Her dark brown eyes were dull, there was no sparkling in her eyes. Her pink lips were chapped. Her skin was paler than it had been a week ago. It was then that Remus knew that she still wasn't eating enough. That knowledge pushed him over the edge. "Brianna," he said, his voice shaking from anger. "Do you know how frustrating this is?"

"What, Remus?" she questioned as she moved out of the chair and sat down on the edge of the table. She placed her feet in the chair and her elbows on her knees.

"You, Brianna. What you're doing."

"What I'm doing?" she asked.

"You're not eating. You all but disappeared off the face of the bloody planet," Remus started as he placed his hands over his eyes.

"What does that have to do with you? How is that frustrating to you?" the brunette interrupted

"It's frustrating, because I'm trying to help you," He told her. "I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to figure out what caused this so I can help you. It's not just me, Brianna. Lily, James, Marlene, and Sirius all want to help you. We want you to get better." Brianna looked away from him and she chewed on her bottom lip. "Brianna, let us help you."

"I don't want you're bloody help," she snapped uncharacteristically. "I can do this on my own. I can deal with this."

"Deal with what, Brianna," Remus asked. He'd never heard her yell in the seven years that he knew her. She had never yelled. "What are you dealing with?"

She was quiet for a moment as she looked at the spines of the books that surrounded her. The titles were so faded that there was no way that she could read them. She chew on her lip until it cracked and she tasted blood. "Imperfection," she told him quietly.

"Imperfection?"

"Imperfection," she echoed back as her voice broke.

"Why?"Remus asked as he took a step towards her.

"People care about perfect people. If Kendall had disappeared, everyone would have been looking for her. The world would have stopped without Kendall Chase. But Brianna disappears and the world seems to spin faster. It's like a burden was lifted. No one cared," she told him as her brown eyes found something particularly interesting on the floor. She started to blink rapidly, but she wasn't able to stop the tears from falling.

Remus had never been struck with the urge to hit anyone, ever, but if he could have knocked some sense into Brianna as she spoke, he would have. He had no idea that Brianna was that down on herself. He had no idea that Brianna thought no one cared about her. He never knew that. "Brianna, people care about you. Lily had Prefect looking for you these past few days. James and Sirius are worried about you, Brianna. People care."

"And what about you?" she asked as she looked up at him.

Her dark eyes met his light ones and Remus was silent. He never knew that someone could be so beautiful when they cried. He watched as her tears fell from her brown eyes, and ran down her cheeks, and then dripped down to the floor. Or the tears would take an alternate path and roll down to her lips and to the floor. As she sat crying before him, he started to see a little of the old Brianna. The wetness in her eyes made them sparkle. There was a slightly pink coloring to her cheeks, that he hadn't seen in a long time. Remus took another step towards her and reached his hand out to wipe away her tears. As beautiful as she was crying, he hated to see her cry.

"What about me?" he asked as he thumbed away her tears.

"You said everyone else. What about you?"

"Did I care that you were hiding? Yes, I did. You said the world sped up when you left, mine didn't. My world stopped," he told her with his hand cupping her cheek as he continued to brush away her tears.

"You're just saying that," she told him as she leaned into the warmth of his palm.

"No, Brianna, I'm not," he told her. "I care about you. I care for you."

This was wrong. Here he was confronting her about keeping secrets from people who cared about her, mainly himself, and he was keeping secrets from her and Lily. He should be the one talking to her about this. He should be putting all her card on the table with her. He shouldn't be getting close to her. He shouldn't be wiping her tears away. He shouldn't even be here. As much as his brain told him to take several steps back from her, his heart wouldn't allow it. He couldn't move away from her. When she looked up into his hazel eyes he knew that he wasn't going to be able to leave her. Not like this. He hadn't realized how close they were until he felt her breath on his lips.

"Do you want to go, Brianna," he said after he found his voice. He pulled his hand away from her face and pushed it deep into his pockets. He wasn't going to kiss her until she knew. He owed her at least that much. Brianna cleared her throat and nodded. "Can I feed you first?"

* * *

After their heartwarming conversation in the Library, he'd forced her to go to the Kitchens, where he forced her to eat something with real nutritional value. She didn't speak of what happened in the Library. How he admitted his feelings for her. How close they'd come to kissing. In fact, they didn't talk about the Library at all. It was like it never happened. For some reason, Remus was one with that. He was okay with pretending it didn't happen. He wasn't sure what his thoughts on it were at the moment. He knew how he felt about her, but he didn't know how she felt about him and that's what was killing him.

At some point, she leaned against his shoulder when she was eating grapes off the vine. Remus was looking into the fire that the house elves had started for them. When he looked down at Brianna, after a few moments of silence on Brianna's end to see that she was sleeping. She was just as beautiful as sleep as she was awake. Her could see the dark bags under her eyes. However, she was relaxed and calm asleep. Seeing as it was late, Remus pulled the vine of grapes from her hand, dropped them on the empty plate, and stooped to pick her up. She was lighter than before. but she's wasn't all that heavy to begin with. After thanking the elves, he started out of the Kitchens and up to to the common room.

Remus entered the common room with Brianna in her arms. Her head was pressed softly to his arm and her dark hair was hanging freely around her face. Lily was sitting in the common room, staring at the door, and when Remus entered the room she jumped up.

"Brianna," Lily exhaled as she raced over to Remus. Lily took her from Remus and sighed, "She's lighter."

"I know," Remus said solemnly.

"I'm going to put her to bed, and then can we talk?" Lily asked as she started up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. She saw Remus nod and she disappeared into the room. Gently, Lily lay her friend down and tucked her in. Brianna was starving herself and Lily could do nothing about it. She just had to sit there and wait for Bri to be ready to talk. That killed her. After brushing Bri's dark hair off her face, Lily left and head back to the common room.

"You wanted to talk?" Remus asked as he leaned on the back of the sofa.

"Yeah," Lily said. "I wanted to apologize for saying you didn't care about her. Brianna, I mean," Lily corrected, jerking her thumb towards the girl's dormitory. "I know you love her. James had to tell me, but I guess it makes things makes sense. The reason you want to help her so badly in Xylomancy. The reason that you're always there offering her words of encouragement when she needs them. The reason that when people talk about her in a negative light you bristle. The reason that you watch her like she's the most important thing in the world to you. Everything makes sense now, but I was just wondering why you never made a move on her. She's been single since she was eleven."

Remus pushed himself of the back of the sofa and walked up to Lily. "There are circumstances that do not allow me to make a move on her. However, know, that if the circumstances were not there I would have. I would have long ago."

"Circumstances?" Lily questioned. "What are they?"

The sandy haired boy sighed. "Not tonight, Lily. This isn't the right time," he told her. He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Some other time." He gave her shoulder a soft squeeze before heading up to his dormitory. "Goodnight, Lily."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Alright, here's another long chapter. I don't know why I can't write normal sized chapters for this story. I guess I just get caught up in the storyline. It also might have something to do with the fact that I don't like cliffhangers. I feel like that's like starting a scene in a movie and then just cutting it off and watching another movie. Unless it's done skillful. And not I'm just rambling. So I hope you enjoy this chapter. You should let me know if you do via review. I love look at my phone and seeing that there's a new review for this story. So review!

**Disclaimer:** So I don't own Harry Potter. Still...

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Lily forced Brianna to eat every meal time. Every time they sat down at the table, Lily and Remus was watch her carefully, to ensure that she was indeed eating and not just pushing her food around on the plate. Brianna was doing better. Slowly, her eyes were starting to brighten and there was color on her cheeks again. She was starting to return to the Brianna that they had always known. She wouldn't talk about what happened at Quidditch trials or during that week that she was hiding to anyone. Lily figured that it was because she was embarrassed and she didn't want think about the events. Brianna also didn't talk about what happened when Remus went to retrieve her. Whenever the subject of Remus was brought up, her cheeks would turn red and she would change the topic immediately, and when Remus was questioned he would say that if Brianna didn't want her to know then he wasn't going to tell her. Their secret was maddening.

Yet there were seemingly good results from her disappearance. Brianna was doing fantastic in her classes. When she returned to class, she was still the same quiet girl that didn't speak unless called upon. Yet, her grades were improving. When she was called upon, she confidently answered the question. The Professors were starting to notice and would write notes about in on the bottom of her homework assignments. _Good Job, Ms. Chase_ or _Brilliant Perspective on the Topic_. Although, she was embarrassed by the praise, she was pleased. She was actually pleased with herself.

"I passed," Brianna said as she bounded into the common room during Free Period. "I passed."

"What?" Lily said looking away from her homework assignment.

"My Xylomancy test," Brianna said, her voice filled with excitement. She bounced on her toes excitedly.

"Congratulations," Lily said with a smile. She had never seen Brianna this happy.

"She ran here to tell you that, Lily," Remus said as he entered the common room. "She's pretty excited about it."

"I see," Lily replied. "I'm very proud of her." She turned her green eyes to the clock above the fireplace and sighed. "Dinner time?"

Brianna groaned loudly. Ever since she'd returned, Lily had been treating her like a small child. Feeding her perfectly nutritious meals. Making sure that she ate those perfectly nutritious meals. Brianna hated it, it was quite annoying. Yet, she was glad that Lily cared enough to do that for her. So she wasn't going to complain. At least not verbally. "Alright, let's go."

On their way out, Brianna grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him along with them. The three of them walked down to the Great Hall together. Brianna in the middle, Remus on her left, and Lily on her right. This felt right. Lily was her best friend and the sister that she always wanted. Everything with Lily was set in stone. She and Remus had also gotten close over the seven years that she'd been at Hogwarts. However, there was never a title for their relationship. They were friends, but there was always something more between them. A spark, and Remus admitting that he cared about her and for her didn't lessen the spark. It confused her, to be honest. She didn't know what to do about his confession, all she knew was that there was a spark, and when she was with him, when he was around, everything felt right.

As Brianna sat down, Lily was ambushed by James, as usual. Instead of being irritated, Lily seemed pleased to be talking to him. There was even a small smile on her lips. When the hell did that happen? She'd only been out of it for a week. Now suddenly, Lily and James were all buddy buddy. That was odd.

"Hey, Bri!" Kendall's voice called to her. Brianna bit her bottom lip as she placed her fork down on the table and turned to her sister. "I'm proud of you, Bri." For a moment, Brianna was shocked. Kendall had never said anything like that before. For a moment, she was happy. "You finally stopped soiling the Chase name and passed a test. That's great." And now she wasn't. "I'm glad you stopped being a slacker," Kendall said as she turned on her heel and smiled.

Brianna turned back to her plate, and began to push her food around on her plate. Remus and Lily looked over at Kendall as she walked to sit with her friends at her house table. Lily would have been shocked, but that happened so often that it was a waste to be shocked about it. Whenever Brianna succeeded in anything, Kendall was always there to tear her down. Always.

"Bri," Lily started slowly as she reached over to Brianna. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Brianna answered quickly. "I'm gonna go to bed. I'm exhausted. Goodnight."

Brianna pushed away from the table and was up and walking out the door before anyone could say anything against it. It wasn't until Brianna was out of the Great Hall that Remus noticed that she hadn't eaten anything on her plate. He gave a frustrated sigh and hoped that Kendall didn't ruin the progress. Yet he couldn't linger on Brianna's issues too much. The full moon was tomorrow night. He had to prepare. Normally, he would have started to pull away from the group, but Brianna was still so fragile, that he didn't want to hurt her by doing so. So Remus had been hiding the fact that he was running on empty for the past two days, and that he was incredibly uncomfortable around people, so that he could help Brianna. He loved her alright.

* * *

The next day, Remus was miserable. He woke up in a cold sweat with his blankets tangled around his legs. His muscles were sore. His body was tired. It took everything in him to not vomit on the floor beside his bed. There was no way that he could go to class today. He should just go on to the Shrieking Shack and wait for the rising of the full moon. Normally, he would have done just that, but there was something tying him here. He had to see Brianna to make sure that Kendall hadn't destroyed everything that he and Lily had worked to fix. Then he would go. However, getting up was a struggle within itself. Every time he moved, he felt a new wave of nausea wash over him. Yet, he managed to get out of bed, shower, and get dressed. By that time, he was able to move without the constant wave of nausea. That was something.

As he walked down to the common room, he was surprised to spot Brianna lying on the sofa. She looked over, clearly not expecting anyone to be in the common room. Her lips opened to speak a greeting to him, but when she really saw him she jumped up, much too quickly for Remus liking. "Remus! Are you alright? You look awful!" she told him as she pushed him gently towards the sofa she'd been lying on. Remus swatted at her hand in vain, hoping that she was stop but she didn't. She just sat him down on the sofa and sat herself down on the arm of the sofa. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes," he told her. Brianna jumped up off the arm of the sofa, and she was gone before he could say anything. She was still moving much too quickly. When she returned she had a wet washcloth in her hand, that she placed on his forehead. "Brianna," he said weakly. The cold water felt good against his skin. "You don't have to do this, Brianna," he told her again. "Really."

"No, it's not a problem, Remus," she told him as she sat back down on the sofa.

"Why aren't you in class?" he questioned after looking at the clock.

Brianna chew her bottom lip and looked over at the fire again. "I just didn't feel like going."

"Brianna," Remus said. His tone compelling her to tell him the truth.

"I didn't want to go because Kendall's in that class."

Remus paused for a moment, thinking about the best way to word his question. "Are you afraid of her, Brianna?"

Oddly enough, Brianna laughed. "She's pulled my hair since she was able to consciously control her hands. She's broken vases and blamed it on me since we were little. Then there was a period where she didn't talk to me or even acknowledge my existence, that was while she was doing pageants. I used to think it was just normal sibling behavior, but I started to see it wasn't. I guess the easiest way to explain how I feel about her is that I'm afraid of her. But I guess that I'd rather be afraid of her, than have her hate me." Brianna looked at Remus from her corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you that. You didn't need to know that. "

"No, it's fine," he told her. "You don't need to be afraid of her, Brianna," Remus told her.

"She likes people to be afraid of her. She's a bully. I'm a people pleaser, so I'll do whatever I need to do to keep her happy. Even if it means-"

"That you're causing yourself pain," he finished for her.

Brianna nodded. "Yeah."

* * *

After their conversation, Brianna sent Remus to bed, telling him that she'd go to class and get notes for him. He watched as she walked out of the common room, but he had no plans on going to bed. In fact, as soon as he was sure that she was gone, he stood and walked out of the common room as well. The corridors were silent and empty. Everyone was in class. Everyone but him. That's the way he liked it though, it gave him space to think. Sometimes he would think about school work and everything that he had to do. Sometimes he would think about his family. He'd think about how his father was the reason he was what he was. He'd think about how this all could have been avoided. Lately, his thoughts didn't stray to his family or school work. His thoughts would always stray to Brianna Chase. He'd think about her hair. How it was flawless and the color of pure milk chocolate. He'd think about her eyes. How they sparkled. He'd think about her laugh. How it sounded like a million little bells. How it was contagious. He'd think about her. How she was perfect. How she was so insecure that it hurt him.

As he approached the Whomping Willow, he pulled out is wand. After checking to see if there were any students out on the grounds, he pointed at the tree and muttered, "Immobulus." The branches were already flailing about far too much for him to attempt to get close to the knob. He entered the secret passage, and just as he did the branches started to move about again. Remus ran his fingers though his sandy hair and entered the Shrieking Shack. The place was a dank and dark as always. Yet, this is where he would be for the remainder of the evening.

* * *

It was eight o' five, when James, Sirius, and Peter walked out of the boys dormitory. James looked in the common room to see Brianna sitting in the same place she'd been on the night of the last full moon. James mentally slapped himself and took a step back into the dormitory. After rummaging through, he trunk James found what he was looking for. The Invisibility Cloak. "It's going to be a tight fit, so you and Peter, can use it until we get out of the common room," James said as he tossed it over his friends. "Stay close." James started down the stairs and into the common room. "Don't you ever sleep, Bri? I'm starting to think that you're a vampire," he teased.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she looked over at him.

"Going to bother, Peeves," he answered quickly. "You know he's giving me a run for my money."

"I see," she replied as she watched him walk to towards the door. It was almost like he wasn't walking alone. He was pacing himself. "James," she called to him suddenly. He stooped and looked over at her. "Tell Remus I have notes for him, will you? He wasn't feeling well today."

"Yeah, I will. Bye, Bri," he said hurriedly as he walked out of the portrait hole and into the castle.

* * *

Brianna exhaled softly as she closed her book. She dropped her book on the desk and stood. She ran her fingers through her dark hair, pulling out tangles along the way, and stretched. She'd been inside of the castle all day long, and she needed to get out. It wasn't the best idea, seeing as it was a full moon and there were werewolves inside of the Forbidden Forest. Of course, Brianna wasn't thinking clearly. She just wanted some fresh air. So she started out of the common room and out into the corridors. The castle was oddly quiet for James to be pestering Peeves. That could usually be heard in even the furthest corners of the castle. Yet, the halls were silent. In the silence, she often found her thoughts going to Remus. In the silence she would think about how he was always there for her. She'd think about how she would find him watching her and he's flash her a smile. She'd think about how he helped her with the easiest things. She'd think about how warm his hand felt against her face that night in the Library. She'd think about how close her lips were to his that night. How close she was to kissing him.

A cool breeze pulled he from her thoughts. She sighed as she pushed her hands into the pockets of her jumper. The breeze felt amazing. It cleared her mind. In this moment, the event with Kendall never happened. In the moment, she was still proud of herself of passing that Xylomancy test. She could still see the smile on Remus' face when she showed him the grade on the top of her paper. In this moment, everything was fine.

* * *

There he sat whimpering in the Shrieking Shack. His skin grey. His face elongated. His snout wet. Shreds of his clothes surrounded him. The thoughts going through his mind were unclear and jumbled. The wild animal that he had become was talking over. The wild animal that he'd become thirsted. The wild animal he'd become wanted blood. James and Sirius entered the shack in their animal forms, a stag and a black dog, respectively. Immediately, James knew that there was something wrong with Remus, aside from the fact that he was a werewolf. The look in his eyes was more wild than usual. He looked more intimidating than usual. He hadn't taken his potion. The potion that allowed him to maintain his human mental state; the Wolfsbane Potion. Remus hadn't taken it. It seemed the Sirius came to the same realization as well, because they backed out of the room slowly, hoping that they would not catch Remus' attention.

They hoped in vain.

Remus was on his feet within seconds as he approached the animal forms of James and Sirius. Internally, they knew that he wasn't going to hurt them. Werewolves posed to danger to animals, just humans. Sirius snarled softly at Remus in hopes that this would stop his approach.

It did.

Remus lifted his nose to the sky. A breeze has just blown by. It was carrying a scent. A human scent. Sirius picked up on it too. The black dog charged at Remus, hoping to keep him down, but Remus was much too fast for him. Sirius was sent sliding into the wall of the Shack as Remus charged at James. James bowed his head, showing his antlers to Remus, but that did not stop him. He'd smelt a human. He was going to kill whoever he'd smelt. Unless they could stop him. Remus collided with James ' antlers and let out a pained howl. The pain didn't stop him. He pushed against the antlers until James was pushed to the side.

Free. He was free.

Remus took off down the passage way that lead towards the grounds with James and Sirius on his heels. Peter's rat form joined them as they ran down the passage. They were no longer trying to stop Remus, they were trying to reach his victim before he did. Remus had no trouble breaking through the flailing limbs of the Whomping Willow and on to the grounds. The branches slamming into his skin was nothing compared to the thirst that Remus had. He looked back to see his three friends stopped at the exit of the passage as they waited for Peter to push the knob.

This was his chance.

* * *

Brianna leaned against the large tree beside the lake. Her dark hair blowing in the wind. In her hand, were a few small rocks that she'd found on her walk over. She tossed another small pebble into the lake, watching as the ripples circled away from the place where the pebble entered the water. She tossed another pebble into the water. And then another. She pushed her hair over her shoulder as she looked towards the ground. There was a figure running towards her.

"Bri," the voice shouted. James. "Bri, you have to get out of here," he shouted at her as he reached her. He was out of breath and panting. "We gotta go," he told her again as he pulled on her arm.

"Why?" she asked as she started to follow him.

Too late.

The howl alerted them to the presence of the werewolf. His small pupils on James and Brianna. Either one would do. Either one would suffice. He came to a stop just before them. Starting them down. James stood protectively in front of Brianna. He wasn't going to let the wolf hurt her. He couldn't. James took a step back and so did Bri. She whimpered slightly, as she clung to James.

"Okay, we I say run, you have to run," he whispered to her.

"What about you?" she questioned quietly.

"Go, Bri. Run," James told her, giving her a push towards the school.

She took his command and took off into the night. Behind her, she could hear James. They couldn't outrun a werewolf. Why would they even think that they could? This was it. She was going to either be killed by this werewolf or be turned into a werewolf. Honestly, she hoped that the werewolf would kill her. Her parents would not have to worry about her or do anything with her anymore. If she were to be turned into a werewolf, that would be one more thing to add to her list of imperfections. Not having the best coordination and involved in her thoughts of death, Brianna stumbled in the dark and fell into the dirt.

As she tried to stand, the werewolf appeared before her and knocking her back down. Brianna let out a scream of fear, but she was not able to move. She was frozen. The werewolf's paw rose and lowered, scratching her face. Another scream, as she brought her arm up to her face to guard it from another attack. The blood from her cheek soaked the sleeve of her jumper. The cut wasn't deep, but it bleed like it was. She could hear James calling her name, panic in his voice. He was trying to get the werewolf's attention. Trying to pull it away from Brianna. The werewolf's paw rose again and he scratched her arm. Blood spilled on to the front of her jumper, and Brianna was starting to feel light headed. The scratch on her face burned from the salty tears running into them. Of course, she was crying Why couldn't it just kill her already? Suddenly, there was a snarl. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a black dog racing towards her. He attacked the werewolf, pushing him off Brianna long enough for James to grab her and cradle her in his arms.

"Hey, Bri," he said as he carried her towards the castle. "Stay with me, alright?" There was no response. "Bri. Brianna. Stay with me."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **So here is another chapter. It is really long just like all the other ones. I'm posting this one so that I can start in on my assignment for my class with a calm mind. I didn't want to leave you all with that miniature cliffhanger from last chapter. So I wrote this one. Enjoy it. It's one of my favorites.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

When she woke up, Brianna was disoriented and confused. She was lying in a bed, so that lead her to believe that the events of the previous night had been a dream. That the events had never happened. However, the fact that her arm was wrapped up and placed on her chest, and there was a bandage on her cheek, told her that it wasn't. The fact that she was not in her bed, but in a hospital bed told her that it wasn't a dream. The events from the night before came rushing back to her. The werewolf. The scratching. The blood. James calling her name. The black dog. James caring her in her arms. Her passing out in her arms. Then she woke up in the hospital wing. She blinked twice as her eyes adjusted to the light in the room.

"Brianna," Lily's voice called to her. Brianna's dark eyes started to focus in on Lily's red hair and then green eyes. A soft smile played on Lily's lips as she rubbed the top of Bri's head. "Madam Pomfrey," she shouted.

The Healer looked over at the red haired girl calling her name. After noticing that the Brianna was awake the nurse hurried over to the two girls. The Healer started to check the bandages on Brianna's arm and face, ensuring that the wounds were healing properly. The cool air in the room tingled against the open wound on her arm and the quickly closing one on her cheekas the Healer began to change her bandages. The white bandages were no longer white, they were red with blood. The sight made Brianna queasy. She closed her brown eyes, but the smell still got to her, causing nausea.

"These are healing well," the Healer mused as she wrapped the bandages. "There should only be minimal scaring on the face, very minimal. The most scaring will be on the arm."

"That's good," Lily said as she ran her fingers through Brianna's dark hair.

"Thank you," Brianna told Madam Pomfrey as the Healer touched her shoulder before she walked away. After a moment, Brianna looked over at Lily. "What happened?"

Lily looked up and out of the window as she twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "I wasn't there, Bri," Lily told her. "I don't really know." Lily then looked over her shoulder. "James can tell you better. I'll get him." Lily rose from the side of Brianna's bed and left the Hospital Wing.

Brianna looked over at her bandaged arm. The fresh blood was starting to seep into the bandage. Soiling the fresh white of the bandage. The night before seemed like it never happened. It seemed like it was a dream. She never thought that is would happen to her. She knew it happened. Werewolves attacked people that's how they survived. That's how they created their kind. Their kind. The scratch. Panic overwhelmed her. Did it bite her? Was she a werewolf now too? Was it -?

"Brianna," James greeted as he sat down beside her. "Are you alright?" He placed his hand over hers.

"I'm fine," she replied. "I suppose that I owe that to you."

James shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile. "Yeah, it's no problem. I just wish that I could have gotten to you before he, it, got to you. I hope that it doesn't scar too badly," he said as he placed a soft hand on her cheek.

"I want to know what happened," Brianna said in the strongest voice that she could muster.

"Of course, you do," James told her as he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "I was out on the castle looking for Peeves, I guess he knew that I was coming so he was hiding. I walked by a window and saw a werewolf on the edge of the forest, just wondering about. So I decided that I should go and check to see if anyone was out. That's when I saw you, and apparently that's when the werewolf saw you too, because he took off in your direction. I got to you first and then the werewolf. I had a plan, a bad plan, seeing as I forgot how uncoordinated you are," James said with a smirk as he ran his fingers though his hair. "Anyway, you fell. The werewolf got you and scratched you a few times. Then something came out of nowhere, and knocked it off. I'm not sure what it was, but then I got you and carried you here. "

"Last night?" Brianna questioned.

James paused, "Well, no. That was three days ago. Madam Pomfrey wanted to keep you asleep while she did a check for bites and other scratches."

"It was a dog," Brianna told him as she looked up at the ceiling.

"I beg your pardon," James chocked out. She'd seen the dog?

"It was a black dog that pushed the werewolf off," she repeated to James. "At least that's what I saw."

"That's," James cleared his throat, interesting," he told her.

"James, did it-"

"No, it didn't bite you. You're still the same Brianna, nothing werewolf-y about you," he assured.

Madam Pomfrey returned to Brianna's bedside, giving James a stern looked. "Mr. Potter, away with you. Ms. Chase needs to rest," the Healer informed. "Away with you, Mr. Potter." Brianna started to protest, but she found herself starting to feel a little lightheaded and sleepy. She gave James a grateful smile and told him to tell Lily that she was alright. James said that he would relay her message and after rubbing the back of her hand in a friendly manner, he left. "Here, drink this," Madam Pomfrey told her, "It will keep the bad dreams away. Dreams of the attack." Brianna obeyed and gulped the potion down. She'd learned that potions were not meant to be sipped, but drank quickly so that the taste didn't get a chance to settle on the taste buds. Not long after the potion was administered to her, she felt herself falling back into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Remus, " James said as he walked into the boy's dormitory and flicked on the light. Remus burrowed under the covers on his bed and hid his face under pillow to block out the light. "I know that you're still getting over the injuries from the last full moon, but you cannot stay up here and mope." James shouted at him.

Remus had not been admitted into the Hospital Wing after the full moon. He had not inflicted nearly as much damage to himself as he usually did, the reason being self explanatory . Madam Pomfrey just prescribed him some ointment to rub on the cuts on his face and arms, and sent him on his way. She was much too preoccupied with keeping Brianna's wounds from getting infected. So Remus had been recovering in the dormitory for the past two days. However, today he was just hiding out. He had done the one thing that he had wanted so badly not to. He had hurt the person that he had always told himself he would never hurt, and he just couldn't deal with that right now. He just couldn't.

James sighed heavily and pulled the covers off his friend's body. "You need to tell her," James shouted. He knew that there was a better way to handle this, but he was just so tired of Remus' moping.

Remus sat up quickly and shot his friend a nasty glare. "Tell her? Tell her what? Hey, Bri, sorry I almost killed you. My mistake."

"Not like that, but you need to tell her," James pushed. "If she confided in you, you need to confide in her. That's how these kinds of things work."

"What kinds of things?" Remus seethed.

"Relationships. You aren't going to be able to pursue anything with her if you don't tell her. That's a secret that's too big to keep from someone," James told him. "You can't hope to have a successful relationship with her if you don't tell her this."

"Pursue a relationship with her. James, I could have killed her. Pursuing a relationship with her is the last thing that I would want to do to her."

James rolled his hazel eyes and sighed. "Fine, sit here and mope, but you need to tell her that what happened."

James left the room not wanting to have any more to do with Remus and his moping. Remus was one of his best mates, and all he wanted to do was help his friend, however if Remus didn't want to be helped then there was nothing that James or anyone could do about. Remus would come to his senses eventually and when he did he would see that James was right.

"What does Remus need to tell Brianna, James," Lily asked as he entered the common room.

"Pardon?"

"What does Remus need to tell her?"

James rocked back and forth on his heels, before offering his hand to Lily. "You should hear it from Remus," he told her. Lily reached out and took his hand as he guided them back up the stairs. "Remus, you should start by telling Lily," James said as he reentered the room, his fingers laced with Lily's. "She has the right to know too."

"NO!" Remus moaned loudly as he lay back on his bed.

"Tell me Remus," Lily pleaded as she sat down on the edge of his messy bed and placed her hand over his. "You can tell me anything."

"You'll think I'm a monster and never speak to me again," Remus said as he hung his head in shame. "You'll hate me."

"Try me," Lily commanded.

* * *

Brianna had been awake for the past half an hour. The sun was slowly setting and casting dark shadows over the grounds. The trees looked ominous, especially the ones around the Forbidden Forest. That's where the werewolf had come from. The werewolf that had attacked her. Madam Pomfrey was rushing about grabbing potions and ointments and placing them in a bag. She was speaking to herself quietly as she bustled about.

"Ms. Chase," the Healer said as she approached her. Brianna turned to look at her. "Enclosed in this bag are seven sleeping potions. They are strong, dear, so make sure you drink them right before bed. There are only seven and they are to be used for the next seven days. Not every other day, the next seven days. They will keep the dreams of the attack at bay. Also, there are also seven vials of an ointment for the scaring. Use them twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, for the next two weeks. Half of a vial in the morning and half at night. Use these every day for the next two weeks, it will seriously decrease scaring. If you use it properly there should be very little scaring on the face. You can take the bandages off tomorrow morning. Just leave them on tonight, so that the wounds can heal a little more. If you would like I can wrap your arm tomorrow night, but it needs to air out during the day. As for your face, the wounds are closed, there is just some red and raised skin. It should lessen as you use the ointment. Any questions?" Brianna shook her head, as she tried to keep all of the information she'd just received in her head. Madam Pomfrey smiled. "Sleeping potion right before bed for the next seven days. The ointment, half a vial once in the morning and at night. Take the wrappings off in the morning. I'll wrap your arm tomorrow night, if you like," the Healer recapped. "You're free to go," she told her as she handed Brianna the bag of potions and vials of ointment.

"Thank you," Brianna said to the Healer as she stood. Brianna's balance was a bit off, seeing as she hadn't used her legs in three days. It took a few moments for her legs to adjust to her body weight. She pushed off the bed and tugged gently on her jumper to straighten it. Lily had brought her a change of clothes, a jumper and a pair of jeans. Something that only someone who cared for her would do.

"Do you need some help?" a tight voice asked her.

Brianna looked over her shoulder at the entrance of the Hospital Wing and spotted Remus Lupin. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he was avoiding eye contact with her. "Um, sure, that would be great. What are you doing here?" she asked as she approached him.

Without looking at her, he took the bag of medical potions and ointments from her hand, careful not to touch her, and said, "We need to talk." He could feel her brown eyes on him and he shook his head. "Not here. Follow me."

Remus started off up the stairs with Brianna following him. After his conversation with James, he realized that James was right. He had to tell her. Not because he wanted to pursue a relationship with her, but because he owned her that much. Every few steps he would stop and make sure that Brianna was still behind him. However, as soon as she got close, he would walk off again. He didn't want to be too close to her. If he was he would break down and grovel at her feet for forgiveness. Something that he didn't deserve. He couldn't even look at her without being reminded of the fact that he had attacked her. Her face of all places. Why her face? It wasn't until he had gotten to the location where he would tell her everything, did he really know where they were going. The fifth floor landing of the clock tower. This was the only place that he could think of that there were not portraits to hear his story. No students to overhear. It would be just them. Just like it needed to be.

"What do we need to talk about?" she asked as she sat down on the wooden floor and crossing her legs.

"I have to talk and you need to listen," he told her as he walked to the wrought iron railing that looked over looked the Black Lake. The moon was starting to rise over the blackened grounds. "You can't say anything until I'm finished, you have to hear the whole thing, Brianna. Promise me that," he begged.

"I promise."

Remus turned around to face her, however he still avoided looking at her. The bandages on her face and arm were too much for him. A constant reminder of what he had done, so that he could never forget. "When I was six, my father was at a pub with some friends. He had had a bit too much to drink, and was running off at the mouth. When Fenrir Greyback entered the pub. My father worked for the ministry and he was talking to one of his mates about how there had been werewolf sightings. Greyback was lurking in the shadows, probably looking for his next victim, when he heard my father say something to the effect of werewolves being creatures from hell. That they were inferior to humans without lycanthropy. That werewolves needed to be killed via whatever means, be it genocide or what have you. Greyback was less than pleased, as you can imagine. He vowed to himself to get vengeance on my father, and slipped out of the pub unseen."

"By the time the next full moon rolled around, my father had all but forgotten about what he had said that night at the pub. He didn't think that it would have any effect over anyone or anything. That night, out family cat ran outside. My mother was sleeping, and my father was reading the paper. When I asked him to go and fetch the cat, he told me to go and get the cat myself. I thought nothing of it. I had gone to get the cat many times. In hindsight, if my father had realized it was a full moon, I wouldn't have been allowed to go out, but he didn't and I did. I found our family cat just outside the back door. He was hissing, his back arched and his eyes wide. By the time I realized what was happening it was too late. I had been bitten.

"I remember the intense pain that I felt as teeth sunk into my skin. Breaking flesh and bones. Spilling blood on to the grass. I remember the cat hissing and yowling loudly in my ear. I remember watching my attacker run off into the woods behind our house. My father came out of the house after a few moments of the cat yowling. He found me there, writhing in pain. He didn't know what happened, so he took me into the house and lay me on the sofa. The last thing that I remember from that night was him going to get my mother, and my mother returning and then screaming.

"I woke up a few days later in St. Mungo's. The nurse that came in to check on me kept looking at me with a mix of pity and horror. She felt bad for me and yet she was scared me. I didn't understand until after the Doctor on call came in and told me what had happened. What I had feared had happened. I was bitten by a werewolf and I now had lycanthropy."

"Why are you telling me this, Remus?" Brianna asked as she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"You promised," Remus said in a low voice.

"That's right, I'm sorry."

"From that day on, every full moon my parents would lock me away in the basement and I would undergo my transformation. Alone in the basement, and chained to a wall, I would claw at myself, in an attempt to escape. I never did. This happened every full moon until I was eleven and my Hogwarts letter was delivered by Professor Dumbledore. He came to tell me that I could still attend Hogwarts, that there would be special accommodations made for me. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to hurt people, but Dumbledore insisted. My mother wanted me to have the full experience of growing up in the Magical Community. So I went.

" I was able to keep my secret until third year, when James, Sirius, and Peter figured me out. I would go away on the day of my transformation. I would sneak to the Whomping Willow, and there's a secret passageway underneath it to the Shrieking Shack. That's is where I should spend my transformation day, alone, until I transformed. I would chain myself to the wall, just as the sunset, take a Wolfsbane Potion, and wait. Up until third year, I suffered alone. Until my friends found out. They also found away to help me so that I wasn't alone during my transformation. Werewolves pose no real threat to animals. So that learn to become animagi, but it took them two years to be able to master the art. So by our fifth year, James could turn into a stag, Peter a rat, and Sirius a dog." He paused briefly to let the information sink in. He briefly met her brown eyes, that were now wide as she started to come to the realization of what he was saying, as quickly as he looked at her he looked away. "Do I need to continue?"

She nodded, but seeing as it was dark Remus was not able to see her, so she nodded until she found her voice. "Yes." Suddenly cold, she pulled her hands into her the sleeves of her jumper, balling them into a fist to hold her jumper sleeves there.

A pained look crossed Remus' face as he sighed. "This most recent full moon, I was not chained. I also forgot to take my Wolfsbane potion. It was a breezy night and the wind picked up a human scent." A breeze blew from behind Brianna, catching her scent and bringing it to him almost as if to prove a point. "The werewolf side of me took over, seeing as I didn't take my potion to keep my human mind dominate. I escaped pass James and Sirius, don't ask me how it's all a blur really, and I was out on the grounds. James morphed back into him human form, as Sirius attacked me and tried to hold me down. He gave James just enough time to reach you. Then I was there, and you started running. Werewolves love the chase. Of course, it wasn't much of a chase considering how uncoordinated you are. When you were down, I attacked. I clawed at your form with no care. I wanted you dead. If Sirius hadn't pushed me off of you, you would be dead."

Brianna sat with her chin on her knees, and her eyes wide with fear. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked again, her voice shaking.

"You have the right to know who you attacker was," Remus told her.

"If you had taken the potion-"

"I would not have attacked you, Brianna. I would not have even left the Shack," Remus assured her. "I would not have attacked you." The second time was much softer than the first, almost as if he were ensuring that he knew that.

"Why won't you look at me?"

Remus chuckled darkly. "Brianna, I didn't want to be a monster. I would much rather harm myself that harm anyone. That's why I transform alone and without humans around. I never wanted to be like the monster that created me. You have to understand that. Now, I have become like him. I have attacked an innocent person. I can't look at you because those scars are a constant reminder of the fact that I am now a monster."

Brianna didn't know what to do in this situation. She'd always know that Remus had a secret, but she never thought it was something to this magnitude. She had no idea how to react to this. Her first instinct was to run. Remus had wanted her dead. However, she knew that wasn't true. The werewolf had wanted her dead. She couldn't run from Remus, he was her friend. He'd been there for her when she was in her dark place. She couldn't run from him. Her second instinct was to be upset. He'd been lying to her for seven years. She wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn't be. She couldn't be angry with Remus. Her third instinct was to just sit there and do nothing. No of those were good ideas. So she stood and brushed off the back of her jeans. Remus felt a pang in his chest as she did. She was leaving him. Walking out on him. However, she started to approach him with her hands still in her sleeves. She stopped in front of him and looked at him for a moment.

"Thank you for telling me," she told him quietly.

"That was what I owed you," he told her.

Brianna took another step towards him and tossed her arms around his neck. For a moment, Remus just stood there and looked at her. However, his hands found their way to her waist and he returned her hug. It felt like a wall had been lifted from between them. There was a different atmosphere around them. Remus had confided in her just as he had confided in him. Weather they had meant to our not, they were no each other's secret keepers, in way.

"I'm sorry," she muttered into the cool skin of his neck.

"What for?"

"For what happened to you. You didn't deserve for that to happen to you," she told him honestly.

"You didn't deserve for this to happen to you," he echoed back.

Her next action wasn't something that she had planned. In fact the thought had even passed through her mind, she wouldn't have done it. However, it seemed that her actions were no longer being sent from her brain to her muscles. They were just happening. It was very similar to an out of body experience. All she could do was watch as her lips found his. The action was far from planned, and it probably wasn't the best idea. They were both in emotional places. He had just told her he'd almost killed her. She was still taking that in. The emotions were what made her kiss him. At least that what she was telling herself. That was until he kissed her back.

Now a completely different wall had been taken down between them. That barrier that had been keeping him from admitting his feelings for her was gone. Everything was gone. And for a moment, it was like they had no secrets. No problems. For a moment, for that moment, it was just Remus and Brianna. Not Remus the Werewolf with the secret to hide. Not Brianna the twin of perfect Kendall. Just Remus Lupin and Brianna Chase. A boy who was madly in love with a girl and a girl who desperately needed someone to love her.

It was Remus that reluctantly broke their kiss and pulled gently from their embrace. "We should get going, it's late," he told her after he cleared his throat. He avoided eye contact with her by looking just over her head.

Brianna nodded and took a step back. "Yeah, I suppose it is."

Remus side stepped her and lead her into the castle corridors. In the corridors, they keep their distance, but they were close enough for their hands to brush against one another as they walked. Brianna walked with her eyes down, finding something very interesting on the ground. Remus kept his eyes up, looking at the staircases ensuring that they weren't moving. The two didn't talk. They just held a semi-awkward silence. There was no right way to approach what had just occurred. If it lead to something , then it lead to something. If it didn't, it didn't.

That was the conclusion that Remus had come to when they entered the common room. Things would happen on their own time. Remus handed her her ointment and potions. He leaned over to kiss her uninjured cheek and then stepped back and towards the boy's dormitory.

"Goodnight, Brianna," he told her as he started to ascend the staircase.

"Goodnight," she called back as she entered her dormitory. The girls in the room were asleep. Brianna quickly changed into her pajamas and then sank into her bed. She pulled a vial of the potion from her bag and downed it quickly. The brunette then settled into her bed. As the potion overcame her, she found herself thinking of her kiss with Remus. How right it had felt. How perfect it was.

It wasn't long before she was sleep, forgetting the problems of the world and just resting.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **I'm so glad that you all can relate to Brianna. I was kind of afraid that the readers would think that she was a Mary-Sue character, however, she has received positive reviews. I adore Brianna because she is the first character that I have written that has real world problems, not just magical ones. She struggles with everything. So with that said, I thank you all, and here is another chapter.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Harry Potter. I am not getting paid for this story. The only character that I own is Brianna.

* * *

Brianna awoke to Lily calling her name and pushing on her shoulder. Brianna was less than pleased at this fact and to prove that she was angry about it, she took her spare pillow and hit Lily square in the face. Lily reeled back and rubbed her nose and then she was back to shaking Brianna again. Brianna reached for the pillow next to her and started to swing it at Lily again, but Lily has learned from her previous attack and grabbed the pillow. Knowing her defense was gone, Brianna groaned and rolled over.

"Get up, sunshine," Lily said as Brianna rolled over to face her.

"Go away," the brunette told her.

She felt as if she were submerged in a pool of water. Everything around her was muffled and gargled. Everything felt like there was resistance behind it. Every motion was difficult and felt like it took hours of planning to have them come out right. However, the longer she was awake the more things started to clear up. She could hear Lily shouting at her to wake up. The resistance started to disappear as she clutched the sheets around her, hoping that Lily would just let her lay in her misery. She was slowly coming out from under the surface of her pool of water.

Lily reached over and pulled the blanket off Brianna and huffed. "Go shower, so I can take care of your wounds. Now!" Lily commanded.

Brianna sighed and rolled out of her bed slowly. She stumbled to the shower and started it. Before stepping in, she took of her soiled bandages and discarded them in the trash bid. Seeing as she was the last to shower, the water did not remain warm for long and soon, she was just standing under a flow of icy water. The water stung the closing wound on her arm. Her face wash stung as she scrubbed gently at the raised skin on her cheek. She washed her tangled brown hair, flinching as the shampoo got into her eyes. Lily called her name, causing Brianna to jump and turn off the water in the shower instantly. The brunette grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body.

"You still have shampoo in your hair, Bri," Lily said as she turned on the facet in the sink. Brianna dipped her hair under the faucet and washed the remaining shampoo from her hair. Lily then handed her a towel and she wrapped her hair up, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to dry it on its own. "Ready?" Lily asked as she held up one of the vials of ointment. Brianna vigorously rubbed the towel against her hair as she groaned loudly. "I'll do it so you don't have to look," Lily bargained.

"Fine," Brianna mumbled as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, splashing water everywhere. "I give up," she said as she dropped the towel on the ground. Lily pointed her wand at her friend's hair and muttered a spell. Heat crept down Brianna's hair from the root to the tip, all the water disappeared from her hair, and her hair was perfectly straight and more importantly dry. "Use half it," Brianna instructed.

Lily reached over and grabbed the towel and used it to completely dry Brianna's cheek. After that, Lily poured a fourth of the ointment on her hand and then started to rub it into Brianna's skin. A chill ran down Brianna's spine and the cold ointment come into contact with her skin. Lily massaged the red and raised skin gently as she worked the ointment into the fair skin of her friend. After a few moments of rubbing, the pink ointment had disappeared into her skin. Lily handed Brianna the vial and pointed to her friend's arm, "You'll have to do that one yourself, Bri." Brianna poured another fourth of the ointment into her hand and handed it back to Lily so that she could put the stopper in it. "How did you get back last night?"

Brianna started to work the ointment into her closing wound. The pink ointment stung a bit as it covered the open gashes. She was quiet for a moment as the events of the night before came back to her, she stopped rubbing her arm for a moment and the responded, "Remus." It was Lily's turn to be silent as Brianna started to rub her wound again. Before Lily could open her mouth, Brianna nodded. "He told me. I know." She looked over at Lily who was rocking back and forth on her heels. "Yes, Lily?"

"Does that knowledge change anything?"Lily questioned.

"Change anything about what?" Brianna asked as she reached over to grab the towel and wiped the excess ointment off her hand.

"Between you and Remus," Lily probed.

The kiss. They had kissed. Did him telling her that make her kiss him? "Um," she started slowly, but she couldn't manage to lie to Lily about it. Her green eyes were piercing and demanded a truthful answer. "We kissed after he told me." Lily squealed. "Shhh," Brianna hissed as she reached over to cover her friend's mouth. "It was nothing."

Brianna started out into the dormitory and grabbed all the pieces of her uniform from the wardrobe that she and Lily shared. Lily sat down on her bed as Brianna started to get dressed. "That's nothing. That's everything. Did he kiss you?" Brianna shook her head and she buttoned her blouse. "You kissed him! Are you a couple now?"

"No, Lily. I happened and then we walked back to the common room in silence. I think I might have crossed a line, I don't know. Boys are bloody complicated."

"Well, you'll never guess what happened while you were asleep for the past three days," Lily said in an attempt to brighten the aura around her friend. "James asked me out." Brianna seemed unimpressed as she continued to struggle with her tie. Lily stood and swatted her friend's hands away and started to tie her tie. "And I said yes."

It took a moment for the information that Lily had just given her to process. "You said yes!" Brianna exclaimed.

"Yes, and I made sure not to tell anyone until you were up and functional," Lily assured as she dropped the tie against Brianna's chest.

Brianna flung her arms around her friend's neck, her wounded arm stinging at the sudden potion, and laughed. "I'm so happy for you, Lily. James is really great."

"Remus is great too," Lily told her as she pulled from Brianna's embrace. "No make-up today, Bri," Lily told her as Brianna reached over for her concealer, "It will irritate the wounds." A panicked expression crossed Brianna's face. "They aren't that bad. Look at them, Bri." Lily held the wardrobe door open, so that the mirror on the inside of the door was facing Brianna. Reluctantly, Brianna looked into the mirror. The cuts were healing. The ones on her face was light pink, but on her pale skin they looked bright red. The skin was raised, but not completely noticeable. Lily was right, they didn't look horrible, but they did look bad. They looked nasty. People were going to ask questions, that is if they didn't already know. Thing never stayed secret at Hogwarts. Everyone knew everyone's business.

"They're horrible," Bri whined as she reached for the concealer again. Lily snatched it from her. "Come on," she whined.

"They are not horrible," Lily told her. "We don't have time for you to do that anyway."

Lily grabbed he friend's bag from her edge of her bed and then grabbed her friend's arm. Despite all of the mumbling and groaning that Brianna was doing, Lily took her into the common room. Instinctively, Brianna's hand rose to her cheek as a way to cover the scars on her face. Lily shook her head, but continued to pull her friend's arm until they were in the corridor. By the time they reached the staircase, Brianna's face as just as red as Lily's hair and her hand was still covering her face.

"Don't make me go down there, Lily," Brianna begged as she grabbed on to the railing of the staircase. "Lily please!" the brunette continued to whine. "They'll tease me, Lily!"

"Lily, let her be," a voice said to the from the top of the stairs. "She'll go on her own time. You go. I can stay with her."

Brianna had been in such a tense state that she hadn't been able to place that voice of her rescuer. All she knew is that whoever that was just save her bring pulled into the Great Hall with scars on her face. While she was sure that everyone at Hogwarts knew about her attack, she wasn't ready for everyone to see the results of said attack.

"Alright, Remus," Lily said as she turned and continued down the staircase.

Remus. Brianna turned to him with on hand on the railing and the other in the pocket of her robes. It didn't even dawn on her to cover her face, not until after she had seen his face. The pain, disappointment, and anger flashed across his face so rapidly that she almost didn't catch it. However, the anger lingered in his body language as he gripped the railing and looked away from her. Although it was too late, her hand covered the pink scars on her face. Under her hand, she could feel the raised skin.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Brianna apologized as she walked pass him.

He let out a dry chuckle and grabbed her wrist lightly as she walked by him. "Why are you apologizing?"

"For making you uncomfortable," she responded as she looked down at her shoes in an attempt to cover her scars. Remus let another humorless chuckle slip through his lips. "What's so funny?" the brunette demanded to know.

"You are," he told her, his voice still humorless. "You were the victim of a werewolf attack. Your attacker was someone you consider a friend. You are now scarred because of something that I did, and you are apologizing to me." Remus laughed again. "It's all sort of funny, isn't it."

"I don't think so," she told him as she made her way back up to the landing. She leaned against the railing and looked down at the lively castle below her.

"I apologize," he said as he joined her.

"We should talk about last night," she started slowly. She'd been trying to think of a way to ease into it since he'd saved her from Lily dragging her down seven flights of stairs.

"I'm sorry for that as well, it was a mistake."

A mistake? He thought that kissing her was a mistake. She had played out a few possible scenarios in her head, and that was not one of them. A mistake? The word stung more than anything. It felt as if she had been stabbed in the heart. His words stung. Apparently, the pain from his words was evident on her face, because when he looked over at her he instantly frowned.

"Brianna, I didn't mean it to sound like that," he told her. He reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled her arm away from him. "Brianna."

"Why? Why was it a mistake?" she questioned as she continued to look down at the floors below her. She was certain that if she looked at him she would cry.

"Brianna, I-"

"I don't want any excuses I just want to know why it was a mistake," she told him.

He was silent for a moment. "Because, I'm a monster. I almost killed you. I don't deserve to be with you." He looked over at her. Her dark hair curtaining her eyes from him. "I don't deserve you as a friend, yet along a lover," he admitted to her. He had never spoken those words to anyone. He had only just recently admitted it to himself. He never deserved someone like her in his life.

"What does that mean?" she asked her dark brown eyes burning into his hazel ones. "I'm not good enough to be your friend?"

_Stupid. Of course you aren't. He's friends with James Potter. You only know James because somehow you managed to attach yourself to Lily Evans. She is the reason that you have friends. No one would even know that you existed if it weren't for your attachment to Lily. No one would care about you. _

Remus laughed, "You're not good enough to be my friend?" he repeated. "Brianna, you misunderstand me. I'm not good enough to be _your_ friend. I almost killed you," he turned to face her, and took her arms and turned her to face him. His hand found hers. "You are too good to be my friend. I don't deserve someone like you in my life. Someone that's so forgive, so kind. Someone that is able to see past me being a monster. I don't deserve that."

For a moment Brianna let that sink in. For the first time in her life, someone had told her that _they_ weren't good enough for _her_. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel worthless. However, she was becoming more and more angry with the person that didn't make her feel worthless. Since Remus thought she was too good for him and everyone else thought that they were too good for her, she was now back to where she started. Alone.

She pulled her hands out of his. "You know, you've talked a lot about you," she told him. "But what about me?"

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes, clearly frustrated with her. He knew that he had no right to be upset with her. He was the one that had gotten them into this situation. However, his anger with himself had gotten the better of him. "You can't be that dense, Brianna. I'm trying to protect you."

Brianna looked at him for a moment. "You called me dense." The effects of his words started to show. Her eyes started to water and her bottom lip started to tremble. Remus regretted his words instantly. As he opened his mouth to apologize, she shook her head. "You were the only person that had never called me that," she told him as she backed away. "I'm sorry to inform you that you have done an awful job at protecting me."

Remus stuttered over his words as he tried to voice an apology to her. However, the more he tried the more she drew away. He had hurt her. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. He'd never called her that because he saw what she went though with Kendall. He saw how Kendall treated her. How she teased her and called her names. How Kendall made her feel like she was so far below her that it was a burden to have her as a sister. He never wanted to make her feel that way. He never wanted her to hurt. Yet, he had hurt her twice in the past five days. The damage was done. He turned away from her just as the first tears started to fall, and walked down the stairs without another word.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Here's another chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it.

**DISCLAIMER: **I still don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

They hadn't spoken since that day. Which made the classes that they had together all the more difficult. She would walk into the room with her book clutched to her chest and her head down. Her pace would slow as she approached the desk that they shared and slowly she would sit down next to him. At first, Remus had taken this time to attempt to apologize to her. However, when he opened his mouth no words would come out. He was completely incapable of finding the right words to express how sorry he was. On one occasion, he was able to utter her name, and she didn't even look up at him. She just took her quill out and started writing notes. He had tried for days to talk to her, but after a while he just stopped. They would sit in class silent and avoid each other's sideways glances. Partner work was awkward. The communication was minimal. When their hands would touch, she would be the first to retract her hand. The tension between them couldn't be hidden nor did either one of them try to hide it.

"You're being ridiculous," Lily told Brianna one night.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You and Remus," Lily clarified. "You are being utterly ridiculous. You won't tell me what he said. You won't tell me anything about it."

Brianna sat on the floor in front of the mirror in her wardrobe. Her delicate ivory fingers brushing against the pink scars on her cheek. They had started to fade nicely. However, that didn't change the days of ridicule that Kendall placed on her when the scars were red and fresh. Kendall would point and laugh. Or she would make jokes and snarky comments. Instinctively, she looked towards Remus, who would usually comfort her or at least try to, only to find that he had his head down reading or eating. However, after a two days the red faded to pink and the skin lowed, and she was able to cover it was concealer. Kendall's jokes stopped then and she went right back to ignoring Brianna as if she never existed.

"It's not important," Brianna said as she stood up and sat on her bed with her legs crossed.

"It is important. You haven't spoken to Remus in two weeks. You don't even try to cover it with a good morning and small talk, you two just don't speak," Lily informed, as if Brianna didn't already know that. "It's making things tense between all of us, Brianna. James and I are torn. He's best mates with Remus, but he's your friend too, and you're like the sister I never got, but Remus is my friend too. You not talking isn't just affecting the two of you. It's affecting all of us."

"Goodnight, Lily," Brianna said as she crawled under the sheets and turned her back to her friend.

* * *

They next morning when Lily awoke, Brianna was not in bed. When she went to breakfast, Brianna's seat remained empty. In the classes that they shared, her seat was vacant as well. Lily didn't think too much of it at first. It was possible that Brianna had gotten sick or something. However, when she went to the hospital wing, and Madam Pomfrey said that Brianna had not come in, she did begin to worry. She wasn't in the library. She wasn't in the chorus room. She wasn't out in the courtyard. She wasn't in the common room. She wasn't in the dormitory.

"Have you seen, Brianna?" Lily called to the boys as they lounged in the common room. She was standing at the top of the stairs that lead to the girl's dormitories looking down at them.

"Today?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, today?" Lily responded as she descended the staircase with her hands in her pockets. The boys were silent. "Have you?" Lily repeated again.

"I haven't," Sirius told Lily.

"Neither have I," James responded. "Why?"

Lily sighed, " I haven't seen her all day."

Remus sat silently in his position beside the fire. His quill had been rapidly moving across the parchment before him when Lily came down the stairs. However, after she started to speak, his quill stopped moving. He never looked up from the parchment, but he listened to each of them say that they hadn't seen her all day. It was then that he realized that he hadn't seen her at all that day either. Her seat in Xylomancy was empty. However, she had taken to sitting in the back of the classroom since they weren't speaking. Well at least for the last two days. Her seat in Arithmancy was also empty, she'd also taken to sitting in the back in that class as well. He hadn't seen her at lunch or during free period. He'd thought he'd seen her duck into a corridor as he passed by, but he wasn't sure, and he didn't go to explore it either.

"Remus," Lily called to him breaking him from his thoughts.

Remus dropped the quill into the jar of ink on the desk beside him as he looked over at Lily. Silently, he stood and placed the book and the parchment on the table. He sighed and pushed his hands into his pockets as he walked out of the common room. He could hear Lily calling him as he exited the common room, however he didn't turn back or respond to her. He hadn't seen Brianna that day. Or at least he wasn't sure if he had seen her. However, he figured that he might have an idea as to where she might be. He descended the staircase down past the sixth floor and down to the fifth floor. He walked across the landing that connected the clock tower to the main castle. The male leaned against the doorframe as Brianna's dark hair came into view. She was leaning against the railing that looked out over the grounds with the wind blowing through her dark hair.

"Why would you come here of all places?" he asked her from his position in the doorway. She looked over at him clearly startled, but she said nothing. Instead she pushed off the railing and walked off of the landing. The brunette brushed pass him as she walked out of the door, and started down the corridor. "Brianna," Remus called after her as he turned to follow her. He had never seen her move this quickly. By the time she was at the end of the landing and into the corridor, she was starting up the stairs. She walked with her fists balled up, he could see her knuckles turning white. She continued her trek up to the seventh floor. For a moment, he thought that she was going to the common room, however she stormed right by the fat lady and up another flight of stairs. The stairs that lead to the Astronomy Tower. After pausing at the base of the stairs, he followed her up. When he entered she was in the same position she had been in before.

"What can I do for you?" she asked without looking at him.

"Lily is looking for you," he informed her as he leaned against the railing in front of the window next to her. She slid away from him. "She worried about you."

"Then why isn't she here?" she questioned as she looked over the grounds.

"She looked for you," Remus told her.

"Not hard enough. I'm not hiding."

"The castle is rather extensive, Brianna."

"So how did you know where I was?" she looked over at him from the corner of her eye.

"I had a hunch, Brianna." He was quiet for a long moment and the only sound was the wind. "Are we still not speaking?" He questioned.

Brianna tuned so that her back was on the railing and looked over at him. "You called me dense."

Remus sighed heavily. "I know, and I'm sorry."

She paused again, "I know that you are, but for the wrong reason."

"Pardon?"

"You're sorry because I'm not talking to you," she told him.

"No, I'm sorry because I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to call you dense, it just slipped out because sometimes it's so difficult to make you understand things. I was just trying to protect you from myself. I try so hard to not be a monster, Brianna. Of course, I've already told you that. Point is that it is hard to make you see things the way that I see them."

"Because I'm not a werewolf?"

He laughed. "No, that's not it. However, you being a werewolf would help this issue immensely. It's because you can find the good in almost anyone, Brianna. You've even found good in Kendall and she makes you life a living Hell. You found the good in me after I attacked you. You can see the good in everyone except yourself. It' s had to make you understand things that involve you because you can't find the good in yourself."

"Yes, I can," Brianna snapped.

"What's one good thing about yourself, Brianna?" Remus questioned. The brunette beside him was silent. "That's what I thought."

"You haven't said anything good about me," she told him as she folded her arms over her chest.

Remus almost laughed. In any other situation, with any other girl, that sentence would have been viewed as fishing for a compliment. However, with Brianna he knew that she wasn't doing that. She strived for perfection in every aspect of her life, and if she didn't reach perfect then she had failed. She could see nothing in herself but failure. "You are stunning in every aspect of life."

"That's a lie."

"It is to you, because you aren't perfect, Brianna. It's not a lie to me, because I see the you that you can't see."

Brianna was quiet for a long moment. "I have to be perfect," she told him quietly.

"Why?"

"Have you met Kendall?" Brianna questioned. "She's perfection, with the exception of her attitude."

He scoffed and looked over at her. "Kendall is not perfection."

"She's a Beauty Queen. They are perfection, therefore she is perfection," Brianna said logically.

"Kendall's eyes are a little too far apart for my liking," Remus told her lightly. "That's a flaw is it not?"

"That's only to you."

"Perfection changes from person to person."

"What's perfect to you?"

Remus looked at her carefully. Her dark hair blowing in the wind. Her brown eyes looking upward towards the ceiling. He could see the scars on her face that had faded over the weeks. Most people would never know that they were there. However, Remus would always know that they had been there and that he had scared her. He debated on answering her question. To him, she was perfect. She had a simplistic beauty about her. She wasn't the first person that most would notice in a room, but she was striking all the same. From her dark hair, that she said absorbed all water that touched it, to her toes, that she said looked like sausages, Remus thought her to be perfect. From her eyes, that she thought were too close together, to the curves of her torso, that she convinced herself was all fat, Remus thought that she was beautiful. However, those were confessions for another day. "Shall we go back to the common room?"

"Yeah, let's go," she answered as she ran her fingers through her dark hair.

"Wait," Remus called to her. "What happened that made you hide all day?"

"Lily said that us not talking was tearing her and James apart. You know with them both being friends with us and all," she told him honestly and without hesitation.

Remus nodded in understanding and followed her out of the Astronomy Tower. The walk to the common room was short and uneventful. Brianna didn't say anything to him, and he didn't say anything to her. They just feel into a comfortable silence. She muttered the password and stepped into the common room with Remus behind her.

"Bri," Lily exhaled as her friend walked into the common room.

"I'm tired, Lily," Brianna stated. "I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight, boys." They all muttered their goodnights as she walked up the stairs and into the dormitory.

"Where was she?" Lily questioned, as Remus sat down in the position he had been in before he'd gone to find Brianna.

"Fifth floor," he told her. Remus paused and the sighed. "Lily, you might watch what you say to her. Things that might not hurt other peoples feels, hurt hers."

"What are you talking about?"

"She said that you said that us arguing was tear you and James apart. She's a none conformational being. She hates fighting, hell, she hates being around fights. She doesn't like to be the root of a problem so she disappears when she is. She thinks that it's better that way."

"Did she tell you that?" Lily questioned.

"Not all of it," he replied. "However, Brianna isn't really that difficult to figure out. It's not just you, we all need to be more careful about what we say to her."

Lily was quiet for a moment. This coming from the guy that called her a mistake and called her dense. This coming from the boy that could make Brianna feel so special, but then change it in a heartbeat. This coming from the werewolf that attacked her. Lily started to open her mouth and the thoughts come out. However, this was the guy that was able to locate Brianna and talk her back to coming to society. He was the one that was able to get her to talk. She supposed that it canceled it out.

"You're right," Lily said. "I'll watch what I say to her. We all will," she told him. She spoke for everyone, and she knew that they agreed with her. She knew that James and Sirius would do whatever it took to make sure that she was okay and healthy. "I'm going to head to bed."


End file.
